Cousin's Sleep Over

So last night we had three of our seven cousins over for a sleep over! We were hoping everyone could make it (Well, I guess Graham is a little young for a sleepover) but the holidays are pretty hectic! So the Young kids came over and we had a blast! We made our own pizzas and mostly enjoyed them... I think Kiley only ate a half a bite of hers! Here they are enjoying their creations!

And Drew and Braden being their silly selves! (Okay, Drew being his silly self, Braden being good!)
After dinner we watched Horton Hears a Who. By the time it was over, and they got ready for bed, it was 9:30! So we got their beds made up and started trying to get kids to sleep! Drew and Braden were a little busy playing with their DS's.

Taylor and Kiley watched Cinderella 2 in Taylor's room...

And Toby and Dawson were watching Star Wars in Toby's bed. Toby only sucks his thumb when he is with his buddy Dawson. Dawson was telling me how he went to the dentist and the dentist told him that he can't suck his thumb any more. It was very painful for him to tell me this, as he stuck his thumb in his mouth!


Believe it or not, they were all asleep by 11:00 and didn't get up until around 8:00. We had a nice big breakfast of heart shaped pancakes and bacon, then got dressed and cleaned up and before they knew it, it was time for Aunt Mer to come and pick them up!

I think all the kids had fun! I need to get some Christmas photos up. I will try and do that this weekend!

Have a Blessed New Years Day!! And don't forget to eat some Dduk Gook for Good Luck!

God is Good!

The New Additions

I always new we would adopt again, just didn't think this would be the result...

Meet Leapord...

And Hermie

Tonight we are having a cousin's sleepover. We were hoping all of our cousins on Nate's side could come, but we were very happy to have half of them! I'll update with photos tomorrow... right now, we're still trying to get them to sleep!

God is Good!

Christmas Prayers

Wishing you all a happy Christmas Eve. My heart is heavy this morning, however. Please read on...

You may remember this post about a young girl adopted from China that is battling Leukemia.

Well, please continue to pray for this family, as they got some bad news yesterday and they are in more appointments today, Christmas Eve, to determine their course of action. (click on the link above to read their blog)

As we all enjoy our Christmas (or some, maybe not so much), remember the simple blessings that God has given us, including our health and the health of our children. But most of all, remember the gift of Salvation that God provided on this day. A gift that, at such a terrible time for the Miyashita family, provides HOPE! Hope in knowing that they will never be permanently separated from their beautiful daughter. No matter what God's plan is for her near future, her ETERNITY is guaranteed!!

So as you tuck your children in tonight, as you check off your Christmas list, as Santa makes his way around the world, say an extra little prayer. Pray for Lydia, that God would heal her body and that they would find a treatment that is suitable. Pray also for Mark and Monica, for patience, and for a hope. For knowing that it is okay to be down, but they need to continue to look UP! That they would find their strength and endurance in Christ! And for Max, that through all of this, he will understand the love of his parents, his sister and his God! That God would protect him from the pain that is being felt around him.

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas. As my Aunt Opal wrote in her Christmas card this year..

Christmas Love
ChristWas Love
And always will be!

God is Good!

Tis the Season

Well, the Holiday Season is upon us!! I say that with unsure feelings... I LOVE Christmas... it is my absolute favorite Holiday. When I was younger (and maybe not so young) it was all about getting stuff! I loved getting presents... but now, it's all changed. Yeah, I like a nice gift or two... who doesn't... but that is not why Christmas is my favorite Holiday. I am so moved by the fact that God, who created earth and let us destroy all that was good about it, would humble himself and come here in the form of man, Jesus, to serve. What does that leave me to do? Want more gifts? Be the Grinch when things don't go my way? No, I am reminded that I am to Serve!

But... there are days... let me tell you!!! I love to make people happy. I love to do things for people. I love to give things to people. But I am learning I can't be all things to all people all the time. Especially now that I am working. That just doesn't leave much room for God to work, does it? So this Christmas is going to be a little different around our house. The kids already know that there won't be as many presents, and they are fine with that. It is amazing to me, but they are perfectly happy. Taylor even said to me "Mom, even though there may not be a lot of presents, I have a feeling this is going to be the best Christmas ever!" Wow! I just hope she's still saying that on Christmas Morning :)

But to keep the "holiday" spirit alive, we once again pose for the wonderful Christmas photo. Now, I know many of you may be getting our wonderful card (hopefully by weeks end), but I thought I would throw out some of the photo outtakes!

I had this great idea of taking the kids photos at Church after the concert tonight... this is some of what I got...

Toby is Bored, Drew is mad, and Taylor can't believe her brothers won't cooperate, it's a photo op after all!
Then there's this one...Taylor is bossing, Drew is still mad, and Toby's having fun all by himself!

So they weren't working out at church, so we decided to try again at home, with the usual by the Christmas tree. All I said was "Taylor and Drew, stay still and we'll eventually get a good one of Toby!" So here is the good one of Toby! Yeah, that really worked! I guess Drew had to see for himself!

And for your viewing pleasure, a clip from tonight's program. Drew is on the bottom right, usually the 2nd to last one. And Taylor is on the top left, usually 2nd from the end. It was a wonderful program. The kids did great, as did the adults but they aren't in this clip! Enjoy!

God is Good!

What is our role?

Well, it has been a fun weekend... and a not so fun weekend. Nate has a paper due for school tonight (it's late on Sunday) so he has been holed up in the office working on the paper. And if I'm being honest, he's been a little grouchy. I know he's under a lot of stress, so I'm trying to not take it personally!

Friday evening, a friend of ours was in a car accident. It was pretty scary, from the sounds of things. He ended up showing up at the Christmas party we were all at, but said he was hurting. He went to the doctors yesterday and has a sprained back and neck. He is doing well otherwise, physically. The woman that pulled out in front of him was lifeflown to Akron and we don't really have a status on her. Please pray for her. And what a praise that our friend is okay. It could have been much worse from the sounds of it. His F250 is totaled most likely, as well as her minivan.

Also Friday evening, I attended our Sr. High sleepover at church. We had about 40 girls come, and was a really nice time. We baked cut out cookies on Saturday morning for about 3 hours. They will be given to families in our community next weekend as an outreach event.

So what is God doing in the lives of teenage girls?? That is what I would like to know! I am the adult leader of a small group of girls ages 14-16. We meet once a week and have a study that we are going through together. I have a great group this year. This is our first year together, with me as a leader at least. They are all very good friends, and are mostly all faithful to being there each week. We have learned a lot from each other. I can't even imagine being in high school right now. Things sure have changed! I know I've changed a lot, too, but it seems like things have changed since I was in school, 15 years ago!

I was not a believer when I was in high school, so a lot of the things I did, I had no eternal perspective. I attended church, so I wasn't a bad girl, but I just didn't have any idea how a relationship with Jesus was going to change my life and change my views! It's amazing. While I used to think certain things were okay, now I realize that God has so much to say about it, and so much better things in store! Relationships in particular. Talking to these young girls about what God wants for their lives... and also thinking I have a pre-teen coming up the way!

Anyone know of any good books to read about raising a pre-teen girl in a Christian home in today's society? I'd love to hear from you. My heart is burdened for Taylor and what she is about to be going through. She is 10, goes to a public school, and right now has no interest in dating or "having a boyfriend" as they say! But I know the time is coming. She has a young boy at church right now that has his eye on her. He's a year older, and a great kid, but he's always around! In a way it's cute, but in a way IT SCARES ME TO DEATH!! So any feedback from my blog world friends would be great!

Well, that's what's on my heart today... for what it's worth. The world of teenage Girls!!

God is Good!

Part of the Family

Well, when you adopt, you just instantly become a part of this big, very big, international, very international, family! It's just how it is. You don't even know it is happening, and then it does!

So here's a peek into what that is like...

There is a family, that I have actually known since my Smucker days. Mark and Monica Miyashita and their two children, Lydia (born in China) and Max (born in South Korea). Mark (who by the way is Japanese) worked in IT when I worked at Smuckers, and was always a fun guy to be around. Everyone knew and loved Mark, and still do, I'm sure! I had the opportunity to meet Mark's wife a few years ago when Nate and I were attending an adoption class that is a requirement of the process. Mark and Monica were in process to adopt their son, and we were in process to adopt (this was early in our process).

Well, a few weeks ago, someone, somehow brought their name up in conversation and I said "Hey, I know them!" Then, sadly, I found out the topic of their discussion. It seems that their daughter, Lydia, was diagnosed with AML Lukemia. Lydia is 5 years old, and should have started Kindergarten this fall. She has been in the hospital in Akron, and I don't know the entire story of what all she has been through, but I know a few rounds of chemo are behind her, and she is currently in need of a bone marrow transplant... this is where "being part of the family" comes in.

You see, being adopted makes things like this a lot more difficult. There is no immediate, blood related people around to offer a transplant. Word got so far as a blood drive was performed in China to try and find matches, thousands of people came out to support. Her photo and story were then displayed on the news in China for several weeks, trying to find her birth family in hopes of a bone marrow match. Eventually (again, I haven't read every entry, but you should, and I will!) her birth family was found, and her birth sister is a match.

The process has been a roller coaster, and the family is now working to bring her birthfamily to the United States to perform the transplant. I recieved several e-mails in the last few days from adoption groups, working to raise money to help this family with the travel expenses.

Lots of prayers are going up for this little girl, and all that is going on in her life! Please take a moment to read her story, and pray for her and her families!

Here is the link to her CaringBridge website http://www.caringbridge.org/cb/viewHome.do

Also if you feel led to donate here is a link to an organization I am a part of that is trying to provide travel expenses for the birth family http://friendsofadoptivefamilies.com/current-news

God is Good!

Another break

Okay, so I'm running out of things to post about adoption. I have a few more ideas, but they'll have to wait. I would love to hear from any of you questions you may have about adoption. Kinda a Q&A... and there really isn't much I won't share! So if you have a question, e-mail me (Mills Family), I'm putting the e-mail link on the left hand side of the blog.

Until I have a new adoption post, I thought I would post a few photos! The snow has been falling here in sunny Ohio!! So first a few photos of the kids playing in the snow on Tuesday...
Drew throwing a snowball! And LOVING it!!

Taylor jumping on the Trampoline, or at least ATTEMPTING TO!!

Toby trying to make a Snow angel on the deck!! Didn't last long!!

On a whim tonight, I took the kids to get their haircut! Drew didn't want to go, so he goes on Saturday, but Taylor and Toby were up for it. I just thought we were going to get trims! I guess I was wrong. Taylor is at the age, I let her explain how she wants her hair. I've been asking her to get it cut short again for about a year. Well, today, I didn't say anything, and this is how she got it cut!! I LOVE IT!!!

And it's hard to see, but I went a little shorter with Toby, too! I think it's adorable, but I guess you have to see it in person to really get an idea!

And ... HAPPY 13TH BIRTHDAY LINCOLN!!! Our oldest nephew. Man how time flies... I remember when he looked like this...





























E-mail me with questions/discussion topics!

God is Good!

The Birthmom

Ahhh... how do you even begin a post like this one! I've been wanting to post about this, but truly have no idea what to say, so I guess I'll just speak from the heart. I am no expert. I have no firsthand knowledge of what it is like to be a birthmom of a child placed for adoption, but I know what it is like to be a birthmom. So that's all this is, from the heart.

A day does not go by that I do not think of Toby's birthmom in some capacity. Whether I see a young pregnant girl at the school I work at, or Toby does something that just completely melts my heart, or Toby does something that is not anything like the rest of our family. All these things make me think of this young 17 year old girl who had to make a very tough decision.

We know very little about Toby's birthmom, so we can not even speculate as to why she chose to give Toby life, through adoption. We know that she was 17, a child herself. And some other things we know about her we will keep for Toby, but nothing dramatic. Nothing shocking. Nothing that would make you say "she's one of those girls, like so many people think. I'm sure she was just your average teenager, that life just happened to. She became pregnant and she knew that she could not be the mother that her child needed.

Often times we stereotype "Birthmoms" as bad people. Not for the choice they made of giving their child to another family (we often praise them for that) but for the choice that got them into that position in the first place.

Let me say that I have seen many teen mothers through my days. Some I went to school with, some that are related, some that are even from our church, and the choices these young girls make are not always the choices I would make, but we need to support them either way. Often times we encourage these young girls to marry. Sometimes that works out just fine and is the right thing to do. I can think of several girls from my high school that that worked for, and they are still happily married. Sometimes we tell them that they'll be fine to raise the child on their own, but we give them no resources or education on what it means to have such a huge responsibility at such a young age, and these girls suffer, as do their children as they go from job to job, or welfare agency to welfare agency. There are some young girls who decide to raise their children on their own, continue to get a decent education and find a good job that will fully support themselves and their child. Then there are those that choose to let go of their babies, and put them up for adoption. To me, this is the ULTIMATE sacrifice.

I know what it is like to birth a child. Words can never explain the feeling of having that new life inside of you. I've said many times that adoption has it's own "high points" that compare very closely to biological children, but the truth is, there is nothing even close to feeling that life inside of you! I can not imagine the pain that these birthmothers must suffer, likely for their entire lives, of letting that child go.

I can only pray, and I do often, that Toby's birthmom, while she has pain, also finds comfort in knowing that he is loved and cared for beyond words! We have sent an update to be placed in Toby's file in Korea, and plan to do so at least once a year, with photos. When Toby is older, we may even begin to include ways in which to contact us. Right now is not the time for that, but in the future, I'm sure it may be a big part of Toby's life, as well as hers, for them to know that they both know and understand the love they have, and will continue to have for each other.

Not sure if any of that made sense.. but it is what was on my heart today. If you are reading this and you've ever walked this road, know that in most cases (I can not, of course, say all) your childs family loves you and admires you, and hopefully they tell your/their child about the amazing woman that you are!

God is Good

Why Korea?

There are several reasons we considered Korea when we decided to move forward with the adoption process. I mentioned before that Nate was very interested in China at first, and I was okay with checking into that more. However, China has very strict income guidelines. As a family of what would be 5, we did not qualify for China due to our income. So we began checking into other countries.

Our list was soon narrowed down, in part based on finances. We looked at countries that we felt we could afford. As awful as this sounds, it is the reality of international adoption! We decided on Korea for many reasons, here are just a few.

Minimal Waiting Times
Young Children at referral/arrival
Healthy children
Children are in Foster Care vs. an orphanage after about 3-6 months of age
Children receive excellent health care for any medical concerns
Longevity and Security of the Korean program

Funny how those were the things that made us decide on Korea, and yet we accepted the referral of a toddler (not really a YOUNG referral) who had medical issues (not completely healthy) and it took us forever to come up with the finances (so minimal wait times didn't mean a whole lot)! It's amazing to know God has a plan, no matter how much in control we think we are.

I also thought I would mention that during the process, as we were waiting and trying to decide what God wanted us to do, we considered changing programs. We seriously considered adopting from Haiti. We were even softly matched with a young boy, only to find out the next day that another family was in front of us and had accepted his referral. His beautiful smile and face is still in my memory! What a sweet boy and I'm sure he has a wonderful home!

So when deciding what program, there are many things to consider. These are just a few of the reasons we chose to adopt from Korea!

God is Good!

Why International?

Many people wonder and ask why we chose to adopt internationally when there were so many children in need of forever families in the United States! What a perfectly appropriate question, and I totally understand the curiosity.

When adoption first crossed my mind, I had no thoughts of going the international route. I assumed I would just adopt someday domestically, likely through the Social Services organizations.

As Nate and I talked about adoption after we were married, he said he always dreamed and thought of adopting an Asian girl, likely from China. So we discussed it, but at the time, felt adoption was in the distant future, so no decisions were made.

Then our lives began to change. With the loss of our babies, we both felt that if we were going to adopt, it would be internationally for several reasons. As we began the process, our first two children were 7 and 4. At an age where they were completely aware of what was going on. They had felt, deeply, the loss of their siblings. They understood that mommy had a baby brother/sister in her belly and that the baby died and went to be with Jesus. They had already suffered so much heartache. There is no way we could travel down the bumpy road of domestic adoption.

We could not chance going through the process of fostering children, and loving children, and having them return to their birth families. Or having a birth mother choose us, then change her mind late in the process. We knew that international adoption had a much higher success rate, without the heartaches.

I will say now, should we be blessed enough to adopt again, domestic may not be out of the picture, we would once again, need to sit down and decide what is best for our family, at this time in our lives.

God is Good

Adoption Books!

I'm being lazy today. Actually, this week has been CRAZY, not lazy! So I thought I would redirect to an old post I did on adoption books. (Click on the link) I have some new ones I want to share with you as well. I'll save that post for another day later in the month!

Happy Adoption Awareness Month!!

God is Good!

Veteran's Day

Flag Display at the Wayne County Schools Career Center!

Today is a very special day. This is a day in which we are to take time to remember and honor our veterans who have served so faithfully for our country. Some served at the price of their own lives. There is never an adequate way to thank those who have made such a sacrifice. Those who have served our country faithfully, deserve our respect, our gratitude and our admiration. Those that served, and were fortunate enough to survive combat, will be changed forever. The pain and the burdens that they will carry for the rest of their lives is something that we, as civilians can not understand or comprehend. Those that serve, and were never in a situation to fight on the front lines for their country deserve our respect, just the same. These people were willing, at a moments notice, to leave their homes, their families, their comforts, to put their lives on the line so that we can continue to enjoy our freedoms. Whether or not they were ever called into combat has no relevance. There sole job, their hearts purpose was to defend our country. And I know they did it, and continue to do it, with honor, in whatever capacity.

Whatever your views on politics, religion or foreign affairs, I pray that we can all respect, honor and care for our veterans!

I would like to honor
My Grandfather – Vince Macrino – Marines
My Father – Ron Tucker – Army
My Father-in-Law – Rudy Moser – Army – Vietnam
My Sister – Treena Whipple – Army
My Brother-In-Law – Tom Ballinger – Army – Iraq

I would like to remember:
My Grandfather – Homer Tucker – Army – WWII
My Great Uncle - Robert Macrino - Army - Vietnam

And if you think this doesn’t tie into my posts on adoption, you are wrong. I want to try and briefly describe, as I understand it, the way in which international adoption began in Korea. Holt International is one of the largest adoption agencies in the country. Harry and Bertha Holt, during the Korean War, saw a need to provide families for the many orphaned children in Korea due to the war. This family, started their efforts by providing funding to help these children. Later, they worked tirelessly to open the doors to international adoption.

As quoted from their website:

"The Holts’ adoption was revolutionary. Their example showed that a family’s love can transcend the barriers of race and nationality. At a time when adoption was regarded as something to be kept secret, they adopted children who were obviously not their birth children. Through their deep Christian faith and fierce determination, they showed the world that adoption is a banner of love, not a badge of shame."

This post has been edited from the initial post. As I reread it, i realized that my point did not come across the way I intended it! We are thankful for our service men and women that fight tirelessly to provide the freedoms we have today, that allow for us to adopt a child. My point was not specific to Korea, or the Korean War. (I am horrified at the way that originally came across! Please forgive me!)

God is Good!

Favorite Things

Taylor performed tonight at the Women's event at church, Holiday Extravaganza! I think she did an amazing job, in front of 500 people!

God is Good!

How can you love him the same?

When you are going through the adoption process, you’d be crazy if these thoughts didn’t go through your mind. For that matter, when you have a second child, no matter how that child comes into your life, those thoughts go through your mind!

I always knew that we, Nate myself and the kids, had plenty of love to give to a child. But when you welcome a child into your home, that is already 2 years old, how does that happen? How does the love just “come”? These are all things I wondered, but always knew that being in God’s Will… it would just happen. And it did. Before Toby was home, I was in love with a photo and videos of this, chubby cheeked little boy. I can not tell you how many times I looked at his photos and watched his video with tears in my eyes waiting for him to be in my arms. As I waited at that International Gate at O’Hare, it was literally like waiting on my child who had been on a 2 year vacation away from me. There was no doubt that he was mine, and that I would not be complete at that moment until he was in my arms.

Did I love him the same way I loved Taylor and Drew, absolutely! Was it instantaneous, absolutely! Does it work like that for everyone, NO WAY!! I know that we are an exception. There were so many requests that I brought to The Lord before Toby’s arrival. I prayed that he would stay healthy, and he did. I prayed that he would not be sick from the plane and altitude adjustments, and he wasn’t. I prayed that he would recognize us from the photos we sent, and he did. I prayed that he would make eye contact with us quickly and often, and he did! I prayed that he would eat well, AND HE DID! I prayed that he would not be afraid of our large animals, and he wasn’t. I prayed that he would handle his carseat okay, and he did. I could go on and on! But I have heard many adoption stories where these things were not so easy. Whether by people who adopted infants, or whether it was a toddler, all of these things often times can be a huge issue.

I have heard of people, 6 months after their child was home, rejoicing in the kiss they finally received. Toby gave me a kiss on the train at the O’Hare airport, only hours after he was placed in my arms. So you may ask, what did they do right? NOTHING! I’m sure we screwed things up many times! I’m sure we did lots of things wrong. But the one think I know we did, and did often, is pray. All of the above requests and issues I was concerned about, I not only prayed about often, but I asked others to pray specifically about many of those things.

We hope that God will provide an opportunity to adopt again. But I am honest with myself, in knowing that we may not be so lucky next time. We may not have all the same answers to our prayers. We may have a child that does not want to look us in the eyes. We may have a child that makes it more difficult to love in the same way. But I can promise you one thing. If God does allow us to do this all over again, I wouldn’t do a thing differently, and I know I will love that child no matter.

Taking a break from the Adoption stuff, today was a big day! Drew had his first Upward Basketball game...









































And Taylor and Nate went to the Daddy Daughter Dance this evening. They are at dinner right now, and then off to the dance!

What's the Right Thing To Say?

*A continuation on my posts specifically on adoption during Celebrate Adoption Month*

So today I'm at work, the job I've only been at for about 10 weeks, and two teachers come up to me and see the photo on my computer. One says, "So are these your children?" I proudly tell them that yes, those are my children, and I can see them squinting and looking a little closer at the photo. I know what's about to come next, or not. There was some awkward small talk for a few moments. They are beautiful... She looks just like her mom...How old are they... then, the more outgoing of the two bursts out "So, is he adopted?" Just like that. I proudly said yes, he is adopted from South Korea and tell them a little about our story. The second question was the ever popular "So why did you adopt?" To which I responded "It is something I've always known I wanted to do."

I am sure many of you have been out and about, and seen a nice Caucasian family and one glaringly different looking child. Whether that child is Asian, or African, or anything else, I'm sure the family caught your eye. But how did you react? Did you stare, but keep walking by? Did you walk up to them and say "So Where's he/she from?", did you just make small talk and not acknowledge why? I've had it all since Toby's been home.

While I'm not overly sensitive, a word of caution... some people are! Most people are just curious, and that is understood. Just about any family that has adopted would love to share their story. It is special to them, and most adoption families are happy to share, in the hopes that through their story, another child might be adopted.

So, what SHOULD you say? May I suggest a few things.. Always comment on all the children in the family "Your children are all so beautiful". I hear so often people commenting on how beautiful or handsome Toby is while my other children are standing right there. They do not get offended or hurt by it, but it would be nice to have them all acknowledged.

Never assume that adoption is talked about in the home. These days, it is much more common that the children are aware of how they came to be a part of the family, but that is not always the case. Be sensitive to that. Once you've acknowledged that the children are all part of the family, you could ask "And how did your family become complete?"

Another thing that people often say are things like "Is he your real son?", or "Are they real brother and sister?", "Are you his real mother?". These are kinda silly questions if you think about it. Of course he's my real son, he's not imaginary. It is always better to use the terminology "biological".

Some things that should just never be talked about in front of the kids (and in some cases, should just never be talked about, period!) include, "So how much did he cost" or "How much did you have to pay for him?" or any questions having to do with the finances of the adoption. Yes, adoption is expensive! We all know that. And just because a family has adopted doesn't mean they are rich! Another thing not to ask about is the circumstances that led to our children being orphaned in the first place. Each story is different. Each family knows different things about their children's biological parents. And each family wants to share WHAT they want to share, WHEN they want to share it with their children. The children do not need to hear how they were "abandoned" in front of some complete stranger.

If you want to know these things, ask them away from the kids. But don't be offended if the parents say "I don't really feel comfortable sharing that with you." Just imagine if someone came up to you and your family and said "So how much were your medical bills for that one? And what kind of labor did you have with that one?" It would seem a bit weird, wouldn't it? So why is it people think that adoptive parents should be so open with their stories?

All that being said, I am very open and happy to talk about Toby's story. There are some things I will not discuss with strangers, like his Birthfamily situation. I believe that is Toby's story to hear when he can understand, and share if he wishes. That is all he has of his Birthparents, a story, so I want him to be able to treat it as he wishes!

God is Good!

Who's the Lucky One?

Another common thing an adoptive parent hears (especially of international adoption) is "Your son/daughter is so lucky to have you!" It is a comment talked about often in adoption circles. I have pondered this many a nights! Who is the lucky one? Of course I don't believe in "luck" as much as I trust in God's plan! Not a day goes by that I don't look at any of my three kids and thank God for the blessing they are. I feel "lucky" that Toby found us, or that God chose us, as unworthy as we are, to parent such an amazing little boy (or big boy or big girl for that matter!).

We did not "save" Toby from anything. We just happened to be part of God's great plan for Toby's life. As I think back over our adoption journey, it was never looked on like "hey, I'm going to go save me a baby today." Some may say it was selfish motives that moved us to adoption. We wanted a bigger family! But in saying that, I also believe that God placed the desire on my heart for a larger family. I prayed, many times as we were going through the difficult, long road of adoption, that if we were not in God's plan, that he would wipe away the desire I was feeling. Looking at where we are today, I'm so thankful that He didn't choose that path, but rather led us to Toby! I tell people that Toby found us. Looking at those referal pictures, those beautiful almond eyes and that tiny little nose. It melted my heart, and the only way to explain why is that God created Toby to be a part of our family. He was born in my heart, long before he was placed in my arms!

And if any of you know Toby and know our family, you can't doubt that he's a Mills!

God is Good!

Child Sponsorship

Okay, so this isn't exactly Adoption, but it is very closely related. I am an avid fan and reader of Pioneer Woman. Her husband and two oldest children are currently in the Dominican Republic on a Compassion International trip. The girls were able to visit the girls they sponsor there. Marlboro Man (her husband) has been writing about their trip and today there was a post that had a link to this video!




You can read his comments here, but it is just a reminder of what Faith in Jesus can do for our lives. He comments on meeting one family, that did not understand faith, and they were very down about their circumstances. Then they met this second family, who understand that this world is not all there is, and were Praising God! They lived in the same area, had the same amount of resources for the most part, but were seeing their situations completely differently. Funny how that can be, isn't it!

So, as I post this month about adoption, some of you may be thinking "That's not for me!" If you are one of those people, maybe you should consider child sponsorship. Here are a few links to some great organizations that I would encourage you checking into.

Asia's Hope
This is an amazing organization based in Cambodia and Thailand. The founder is from our church.

Compassion International
We currently sponsor an amazing child from Kenya. It is such a joy to get his updates and photos. We have sponsored him for about 4 or 5 years, and it truly is like he is part of our family.

Hands and Feet Project
I've posted on here about them many times, but this is an orphanage in Haiti started by a few of the guys from Audio Adrenaline. They could really use our help right now as they were recently devastated by Hurricane Ike!

World Vision
While we don't have direct connections to this organization, many of our favorite bands are spokespeople for them!

God is Good!

Why Adopt?

(Yes, today is November 4th! Yes, I voted... that's all I have to say about that!)

So this has got to be THE MOST ASKED QUESTION of adoptive parents. Why did you adopt, why didn't you have children of your own (or in our case MORE children of your own)? I am not sure why people are so nosy, but they are. Nosy may not be the best word, interested, intrigued, curious may be better words. When you are a family of blond hair, blue eyed children, and you adopt a child of a different ethnic background, you are opening the door for people to ask questions. I have always been okay with that! I love all my children, and the stories of how they came to be my children are each unique and special and very important! I have no problem sharing.

So here is the answer.... I guess. I'm sure if you asked Nate, he may give you a different answer, but my interest in adoption began at a young age. My babysitter growing up, Mrs. Coe, was a foster mother. She opened her home to many children, I'm sure, but one in particular always stood out in my mind. I do not remember the boys name, but I know that he was hurting, and he found love in that home. I was intrigued, and a seed was planted. Before I knew Him, God was working in my heart.

At a fairly young age, 16 or 17, I had a few doctors tell me that I would have a hard time having children. While I always wanted to be a mother, this did not bother me. It was pretty simple at the time... I'll just adopt!

When I fell in love (again at a young age!) and knew that Nate and I were going to be together forever, we discussed this kind of stuff. He was always very encouraging and supportive of adopting children!

After we were married, thinking I would have a hard time getting pregnant we decided to just let things happen... well... they happened alright! God is much wiser than any doctors, and 10 1/2 months after the wedding, we welcomed a gorgeous baby girl into our lives, Taylor Brooke! Still we thought we would adopt one day.

Three and a half years, and several doses of Clomid later, Drew joined our family! What a blessing! Still we would adopt "some day"!

Then after 2 miscarriages and the loss of our son Kaleb through stillbirth, and while pregnant again, we decided now is the time to adopt. We felt that once our third child was born, we would begin looking into adoption. Well, our baby girl, Alicia went to be with Jesus as well, and after a time of grieving, we began the adoption process.

Looking back, God had an amazing plan for us. And we know that all of our children were a gift from God! No matter how short their lives. And we know that God had an amazing plan for our Toby's life as well! We are so grateful to be a part of that plan! Will we adopt again... God knows! I would love to, and would do it many more times, but sadly it is not financially possible in the near future. Will it be a child from Korea? A child from Haiti? A child from the US? Who knows, but one day, I have to believe that God has a plan, and if it is His will, we will be parents again, and give hope to a child, and add love to our family!

God is Good

Adoption Stats

I wanted to throw out some statistics on adoption and here are some interesting things I found...

Domestically...

According to the Administration for Children and Families, At the end of Fiscal Year 2006 (September) there were 508, 446 children in Foster Care in the United States. Over 16,000 were in Ohio!

The following information was found on Adoption.com

·4 in 10 American adults (81.5 million) have considered adoption for their own families
· 63 percent of all American adults have a very favorable opinion about adoption (seven percentage point increase since measured in 1997)
· 64 percent have experienced adoption within their own families or among close friends (a six percentage point increase since 1997)
· 78 percent believe the country should be doing more to encourage adoption
· 95 percent think adoptive parents should receive the same maternity and paternity benefits from employers as biological parents
· Hispanic populations are more likely (54 percent) to consider adoption than African-American (45 percent) and White populations (36 percent) – though African-Americans are most likely to consider adopting a child who has been in foster care for a few years

International Adoption...

Here is a list of the top 20 countries involved in International Adoption to the United States.

Top 20 Orphan Issuing Countries FY-2007
COUNTRY IR3 IR4 TOTAL
China-mainland 5,453
Guatemala 4,728
Russia 2,310
Ethiopia 1,255
South Korea 939
Vietnam 828
Ukraine 606
Kazakhstan 540
India 416
Liberia 314
Colombia 310
Philippines 265
Haiti 190
Taiwan 184
Mexico 89
Poland 84
Thailand 67
Kyrgyzstan 61
Brazil 55
Uganda 54

Where do you fit in?

God is Good

Adoption PSA's

As I mentioned before, it is Celebrate Adoption Month. I am hoping to post each day this month something about adoption. I thought I would start with a few videos. The first two are just Public Service Announcements I found on YouTube... The first is from Kentucky, but has a great message...





This is a great video from an International Adoption Agency, Bethany Christian talking about the joys of adoption, including international adoption...



And I thought I would throw in our adoption video for those of you that may not have seen it before. As I sat and watched this again tonight, so many things went through my head. I am sitting here typing, and I can hear Toby singing in his bed. Actually, crying out for me at the moment... be right back...Okay, he's good! As I watched the video, it took me right back to that day 15 months ago. I could smell his hair, feel the weight of his limp body on my shoulder, remember laughing with him on the train ride between terminals, as well has him planting his first kiss on me as we rode along on the train! The joy of that day is absolutely comparable to the joy of the birth of Taylor and Drew.. WITHOUT the pain and drugs!!! I hope you enjoy the video, and I'd love to hear feedback from any of you this month, as well as any questions you may have regarding the adoption process!



God is Good!

Happy Halloween!

Another Fun Filled night of Trick or Treating and hanging with the family! Nate's sisters, Melanie and Meredith both came with their families, and Nate's parents and my parents. It was a lot of fun and the kids got a TON of candy. It didn't seem like there were as many kids out this year, not sure why, but we had a ton of candy left! UGH! So here are a few photos, and a few from our Fall Fun Fest at church! Enjoy

Taylor and Lincoln were already out trick or treating, so we didn't get an entire group shot!

The boys were playing football before they left. Yes, that is Anakin with a Buckeye's helmet on! And Angus of AC/DC in the background!

And pretty much every year, this is how we find the kids after we trick or treat. The older kids have gotten wiser, and now go downstairs to dump their candy, and then I'm picking up wrappers for a week! But the little guys just couldn't wait!

Taylor and Drew at the Fall Fun Fest. It was a sports theme this year, so we had a Buckeye and two Cavs players!

Here is Toby, Dawson and Kiley coloring at the Fall Fun Fest!

And this is Toby, before we left. He wanted his hair done? What do you think? I love it!

And here is a video of Drew Jousting at the Fall Fun Fest. He didn't do too well, but he had fun!

Also, it's National Adoption Month! I'm hoping to do some digging and post a lot of info this month about adoption! We'll see what I come up with! I probably should have started planning for this a month ago!

God is Good!

Cleaning the Throne for the Kingdom!

Well, tonight was Service Project night for my high school small group. We have been meeting since the beginning of school, and this is my first year with this group of girls. They are mostly Freshman and Sophomores, and several of them are homeschooled, which is a new twist for me. Most of these girls I have known for many years, had them in Sunday morning childcare, or taught them in Vacation Bible School! I love doing small group. I learn so much from these girls, while trying to help guide them through a rough time in life... HIGH SCHOOL! I remember those days so well.. and notice I didn't say fondly!

Anyway, as Nate is sitting on the couch next to me studying for school, and I think forward to what God has in store for us in way of Ministry, I look forward to working with High School girls. This is my 3rd year leading a small group, and I learn so much each year.

I posted a while back about the Fall Party at our church for our Grand Opening of the new Student Center. Nate's band played, and Jeremy Kingsley spoke. His topic was about being last. One of his illustrations was about how nasty public bathrooms can be, and about a time when he went in and cleaned a public bathroom. No one knew he did it, but it was a way he could serve those around him, those that would enter that bathroom after him. It really stuck with me. So when it was time for us to do a service project, this was the first thing that came to mind.

At first, my girls were like... No Way! Then they went on to talk about how they would NOT clean the men's bathroom. But the more we talked about it, I think they got a little excited about the opportunity. So tonight, we met at the church, and then headed out one of the Gas Stations in town.

Our first stop, we went in and asked if we could clean the bathrooms and I think the lady asked about 3 times, "Really?" "You want to do what?". She was so surprised. But we got to work, and also cleaned at another Gas station. The girls worked so hard, and realized it wasn't as bad as they thought it was. Here are some photos.

So, did the girls walk away from this understanding all that they did? I'm not sure, but I am proud of them for stepping out of their comfort zone and doing a task that most think is "below them". And they did it with such great attitudes! I'm so excited to see what God has in store for this group this year!

God is Good!

Toby's Field Trip

Nate got to take Toby on his first field trip this week. They went to Ramsyer's Pumpkin patch. Toby had a lot of fun, but it was pretty cold. Here are a few photos!

God is Good!

Nate and Drew made the trip down on Friday to visit!

Jer, Christina and "Teddy Graham" as Taylor calls him!

Introducing Graham Carson Mills! He arrived at 8:39 this morning... that's right, only a few hours after they left for the hospital! It's a good thing I love Christina so much, otherwise, as a fellow mother I would hate her! This is the only glimpse I've had of him, but he's handsome! 7 pounds 13 oz and 20 1/2 inches long. We are hoping to head down tomorrow evening to see them.

God is Good!

Our Nephew is coming!!!!

Please pray for Nate's brother Jeremy and his wife Christina. I just got word that they are on their way to the Hospital!! Her due date was October 31 so they are right on schedule! Her contractions are 3-5 minutes apart, so they headed to the hospital at around 5:30! Please pray for health for everyone and for wisdom for the doctors! Hope to have more update this evening!

God is Good!

Toby

Poor guy was sick the past few days. Yesterday, his fever was high, 102.5 and I think even higher at times. It went down each time we gave him Tylenol, but would spike back up 4-6 hours later. Then, this morning he didn't have a temperature and I thought we were good to go. That is, until I was heading out the door for work. Toby started fussing, and then his breakfast returned to the table. It was a long morning of that. I changed outfits twice and had to change Toby three times if that gives you any idea. I'm not sure why 3 year olds can't hit a bucket...

Fortunately, he is feeling much better tonight. He ate dinner like he hadn't eaten in weeks, and has kept it down. He got his bath and is now in bed. I think we've passed through the worst of it.

On another note... I think we had a breakthrough this week with Toby as well. A breakthrough I didn't see coming. I have never questioned our attachment. Things have always gone very well, and I believe that Toby attached very quickly to our family. I have not ever questioned that. But what happened this past weekend was still so very special. The words for mom and dad in Korean are Umma and Appa (various english spellings). We usually use those terms to talk about his foster family in Korea, since that is likely what he called them. Well, we were laying in our bed, Toby, Nate and I and Toby turned to me with this serious look and said "Umma?" He has never really called me that, ever. It just hit me really hard. Like he had put the connection together, and that I wasn't just this lady named "Mommy" that he has called me for nearly 15 months, but that I was really his "Umma". Then he turned to Nate and said "Appa?"

I may be reading too much into it, but for me, it just felt like Toby had made a connection at a level much deeper than he had before. Like he had confirmed to himself that he was home. He has called me Umma several times since then. And it just melts my heart each time!

God is Good!

Nate's Blog

Hey all you faithful readers! Just wanted to let you know that Nate has started a blog. I'm sure that as he nears the final year of school, and the anticipation of what God has in store for him, and us as a family, this will be a great outlet for him to share what God is doing in his life.

Check it out!

www.natehasa.blogspot.com

God is Good

Surprise!!

Well, last week, I got a text message from my mom... it said something like "PJ and Jess had their baby.. 3AM at home 7lbs 7 oz." I knew my cousin PJ and his wife were expecting their second child, and they had been on my mind lately, as I knew their due date had to be coming up. So I got the message, and it said they had the baby "at home"? HMM, what does that mean. Was it planned to be at home. That is pretty common these days. So I text back "was that how they planned it?" and she replied "NO"!! Everyone is doing great! PJ delivered their son Saul and from these photos it looks like they made it to the hospital a little later. I have not heard the entire story, but thought I would share in their excitement by sharing these precious photos!

PJ and his new son!

Grandma "Aunt Debbie" and her precious new grandson.

Big Brother Enten and his new baby brother.

I didn't get any photos of the new mommy! But I'm sure she is glowing!

God is Good!

Drew is SEVEN!!!

WOW... where in the world has the time gone. It seems like yesterday, I was sitting in our TINY 2 bedroom apartment in Good Thunder, Minnesota watching as my belly looked like something from an alien movie. Now, seven years later, I prepare to go to a soccer double header.. one that I knew would be in my sons future even back then! He was one active little boy! The memories are precious, but the joy that I have each day with him in my life is indescribable!

Last night, his best buddy and cousin Braden came over and we went to Chuck E Cheese and Dairy Queen. It was a very fun night. Here are some photos.

Sitting down to eat our pizza

The boys, enjoying themselves

Drew and Braden pretty much played basketball all night long

This is what you get when you tell a 3 year old it's time to leave Chuck E Cheese

This was Drew opening his gifts this morning, he got a new Steeler's sweatshirt, tattoos, some books, some baseball cards and a Star Wars belt!

God is Good!

Day of Remembrance

Today is the Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It is a day set aside to reflect on and remember our children. I'm sure that everyone has dealt with, or knows someone who has dealt with infant loss or stillbirth. You can check out this website for more details.


I miss my babies. And I think of them often. But I do often think of this picture. Kaleb's life was so important. I wish he were with us, but I think of this image, and know that while a day would have come for us to adopt, Toby would not be in our lives if things had been any different. How can I question that? Kaleb is happy, loved, peaceful and worshiping God in a way I can only imagine. And we have Toby to fill our home with a joy that is beyond words. There is a connection. As much as I don't like to think that Toby would or wouldn't be here... how would things be different... what would Kaleb be like.. I have to think about it and know that God's plan is perfect! In Isaiah, the Lord says "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways" declares the Lord "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.", so I just trust in Him!

So today, think of those that you may know who have walked down this dark road of infant loss or stillbirth and pray for them. I'm sure they could use it!

God is Good!

Random Weekend Photos!

Taylor and her violin...

Toby at the Wilderness Center with Aunt Katy

The kids around the tree before it gets axed...
Toby on the stump after the execution...

Drew's soccer team "defending the goal" (or is it the family jewels?)

Drew Scoring a Goal!

Nate playing at the Fall Party for Student Ministries at Grace

Judgment Come!

Drew playing basketball with some strange man.. oh wait.. that's my dad!

God is Good!