Today is Mother's Day, but it is also Kaleb's 4th BIRTHday. The emotions are undescribable! I have a beautiful new son this year, that God has blessed us with. Yet I continue to mourn on this special day. These past few weeks have been difficult. I'm not sure what the trigger is this year that has made it more difficult than the past few. Several weeks ago, as I was in church, I ran into two families in the same morning that have children that were born the week Kaleb was due. Seeing these "big" kids, heading into their classrooms, so independent and happy, instantly brought tears to my eyes. Now I see these children often in the halls of church, but for some reason this particular day, it was more than I could handle. There is a beautiful song on the radio, "Held", sung by Natalie Grant, that for some reason, I think they are playing every 20 minutes. It seems with every turn Kaleb is there, and I am missing him.
So, with that said, I had a wonderful morning. My family knows the pain in my heart today, and Taylor made me breakfast. It was WONDERFUL. Scrambled eggs and toast. She did such a great job. And I received a beautiful card and necklace. We plan on going to church, then to the cemetery to celebrate Kaleb's BIRTHday. It's a gray day! I know God is sad and carrying my hurt with Him. Then we will have lunch at home and Taylor has a soccer game up by Lake Erie, so that will consume the rest of our day!
I thank God every day for my beautiful healthy children that I have the chance to watch grow up. But that doesn't mean I don't hurt and miss the four that are in heaven, especially Kaleb, whom I was blessed to hold with my own arms. The same arms that ache for him each day, even though he'd be a big boy now!
God is Good
No comments:
Post a Comment