Well, today has been quiet a reflective day. Today, 4 years ago, I walked into my doctors office hoping to hear my little guys heart beating. I walked out of that office a changed woman. As I think back on the day, the pain is as if it just happened. I can remember every moment of that day, yet it seems dream like (or should I say nightmarish?). But that is not all that is heavy on my heart today!
I have a friend I have known for nearly 15 years that is in the process, with her husband, of adopting their first child. This friend lost her baby almost a year after we lost Kaleb. Well, she has recently been contacted by a birth mother about adopting her baby. There is much more to this story, but I want to get to my point here, without going on about her details.
As I think of this birth mother, who as I type is likely holding her baby and trying to decide what her future holds, I can't help but feel burdened. I look at Toby and the blessing that he is in our lives and I thank God for the woman who was able to look into his beautiful, thoughtful eyes and say to herself "I can not give you what you deserve in life". How heartbreaking! And I feel guilt! Guilt that I can be so excited about her pain. Does that make sense! My life has been blessed beyond my wildest imagination (God has done immeasurably more than I could have asked for or imagined" Eph 3:20). Yet it came at the expense of a young mother, who every day wonders about the boy with the beautiful, thoughtful eyes!
So this is my prayer. This young, teenage birth mother, may she feel God's guidance, strength, peace and comfort in her decision. That she seek His counsel as she makes her final decision. That if she chooses to let her baby go, to these wonderful, loving parents that are praying for a child, that she can hold her head high, knowing that she did it out of love. A love for her child that is so strong that she must say "I can not care for you as you deserve little one, so I will carry the pain, so you don't have to."
I do not know what is going to happen for my dear friend and her husband. But I do know that there are no absolute winners in this situation. No matter what decisions are made, lives will be changed forever. A beautiful baby has been born, and that in and of itself is a miracle! God will work out the rest!
As I prayed for my friend, God brought me to Jeremiah 32:17 ""Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you."
He has it all planned! God is Good!
The story of the Mills' Family. Nate and Carol have been married since 1997. Taylor was born in 1998, Drew was born in 2001 and Toby was born in 2005 and joined our family forever in 2007. Here is our journey, where God leads us, we will go. That is my prayer.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
When Mom's Away...
The kids play!! I was gone for the weekend at Women of Faith conference in Columbus! I had a wonderful time, but I missed my kids (and Nate) a great deal. While I never worried about them, I did hope they didn't just sit around the house all day! Well, while I was gone, I got these photos texted to my phone! I think they had a blast...
Daddy was a super hero for the weekend! Here are the boys on the trampoline at our place!
Here are they kids enjoying the park!
This is Toby enjoying the Oriental buffet! We have taken him in the past, and he didn't eat much. We just assumed it was overwhelming for him being in that environment and thought we would try again later... Well... He LOVED it! Nate said he couldn't get him to stop eating! He was so happy to be there, so I guess that is our new restaurant!
And my favorite... The three of them at the park, truly enjoying being together!
I will say, I came home to a different house then I left (and I'm not just talking about the mess)! Whether God worked in me, or them, or all of us, I'll never know. But sometimes separation works miracles! The kids just got along so well on Sunday, they appreciated me (Nate realized how much work making dinner is and says he'll never complain again about what I make). And I know I have a new outlook as well!
God is Good!
Daddy was a super hero for the weekend! Here are the boys on the trampoline at our place!
Here are they kids enjoying the park!
This is Toby enjoying the Oriental buffet! We have taken him in the past, and he didn't eat much. We just assumed it was overwhelming for him being in that environment and thought we would try again later... Well... He LOVED it! Nate said he couldn't get him to stop eating! He was so happy to be there, so I guess that is our new restaurant!
And my favorite... The three of them at the park, truly enjoying being together!
I will say, I came home to a different house then I left (and I'm not just talking about the mess)! Whether God worked in me, or them, or all of us, I'll never know. But sometimes separation works miracles! The kids just got along so well on Sunday, they appreciated me (Nate realized how much work making dinner is and says he'll never complain again about what I make). And I know I have a new outlook as well!God is Good!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
This and That...
Well, I haven't posted in a while, so here's an update..
Toby... we had a meeting before his birthday about Preschool. He will be attending our Tri-County preschool through the public school system on an IEP for his speech. This simply means that he will attend a preschool that will assist him with his speech and communication delays. He has a vocabulary of about 50 - 75 words or so, and will "mimic" anything we say, but putting everything together is a whole other thing. He is improving every day, but this preschool will really get the ball rolling. Right now we have been doing speech, every other week for an hour. It just hasn't been enough to get him going.
Drew... is just enjoying being Drew right now! He spends every spare moment "shooting hoops" and just loves being outside. I think he's ready for Kindergarten to be over... I know I am! We have had some struggles with some kids in the classroom and on the bus, and we are working through them, but I have started to pray about who will be in his class next year!
Taylor... still going strong in Soccer! She scored a goal again last weekend, nearly scored a second but the halftime whistle blew, darn it! She is improving each week, and just loves to play! She is looking forward to summer. June is already completely booked with church camp, family vacation and the Alive Festival. She is going to be a busy girl... and a 5th grader before we know it! There will be no Ohio Light Opera this year, as they have no kids parts, but surprisingly she was okay with that... that means she can go to church camp!
Nate...Judgment Come did their recording in studio a few weeks ago. It will be several more weeks until we get copies. School is going well. He is considering taking the summer off. I think he should just plow through and get it done, but I'm not the one doing all that he is doing right now, so I have no say, as it should be!
Me... I'm just looking forward to a few days away, as I go to Women of Faith this weekend with a group from church. We always go down early Friday and spend the day at Easton. While I am not a shopper... I have saved up some spare change this time around, and hope to get a few new things. But whenever I go shopping, and actually HAVE MONEY, I can never find anything. My girlfriend Cher insists that she can help me spend the money... and I know she can!
We are all enjoying this beautiful weather, as a Cardinal flies past our window!! I LOVE SPRING! I've been out in the flower beds and yard a lot, and look forward to doing some more planting in the coming weeks!
God is Good!
Toby... we had a meeting before his birthday about Preschool. He will be attending our Tri-County preschool through the public school system on an IEP for his speech. This simply means that he will attend a preschool that will assist him with his speech and communication delays. He has a vocabulary of about 50 - 75 words or so, and will "mimic" anything we say, but putting everything together is a whole other thing. He is improving every day, but this preschool will really get the ball rolling. Right now we have been doing speech, every other week for an hour. It just hasn't been enough to get him going.
Drew... is just enjoying being Drew right now! He spends every spare moment "shooting hoops" and just loves being outside. I think he's ready for Kindergarten to be over... I know I am! We have had some struggles with some kids in the classroom and on the bus, and we are working through them, but I have started to pray about who will be in his class next year!
Taylor... still going strong in Soccer! She scored a goal again last weekend, nearly scored a second but the halftime whistle blew, darn it! She is improving each week, and just loves to play! She is looking forward to summer. June is already completely booked with church camp, family vacation and the Alive Festival. She is going to be a busy girl... and a 5th grader before we know it! There will be no Ohio Light Opera this year, as they have no kids parts, but surprisingly she was okay with that... that means she can go to church camp!
Nate...Judgment Come did their recording in studio a few weeks ago. It will be several more weeks until we get copies. School is going well. He is considering taking the summer off. I think he should just plow through and get it done, but I'm not the one doing all that he is doing right now, so I have no say, as it should be!
Me... I'm just looking forward to a few days away, as I go to Women of Faith this weekend with a group from church. We always go down early Friday and spend the day at Easton. While I am not a shopper... I have saved up some spare change this time around, and hope to get a few new things. But whenever I go shopping, and actually HAVE MONEY, I can never find anything. My girlfriend Cher insists that she can help me spend the money... and I know she can!
We are all enjoying this beautiful weather, as a Cardinal flies past our window!! I LOVE SPRING! I've been out in the flower beds and yard a lot, and look forward to doing some more planting in the coming weeks!
God is Good!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Ice Cream Truck!
Well... It's spring!! The Ice Cream Truck has arrived! Look at those blue skies!! Never mind it came before dinner... what's a mom to do. And this mom grew up on State Route 585... no Ice Cream trucks stopping there! So I'm a sucker for the Ice Cream Truck... of course with the prices as they are... UGH! I can buy a whole box for the cost of one treat! But once in a while, you can't miss out on this excitement! I think the photos speak for themselves!
God is Good!
God is Good!
Monday, April 14, 2008
Happy 3rd Birthday Toby!
Well, Toby is now 3. While his birthday is today, we did the celebrating over the weekend. Here are some photos from his birthday party! We had his party at Aunt Mer and Uncle Michael's house, along with Dawson's birthday party. The boys are only 4 days apart, and I see them causing lots of mischief... I mean fun together in the coming years!
We also had Taylor and Drew's concert at church on Sunday. Splash Kingdom. I will have video up in the next few days, but here are a few photos. Taylor was in the drama, and Drew was in the choir. The last photo is just a fun one of the kids after the performance.
God is Good!
We also had Taylor and Drew's concert at church on Sunday. Splash Kingdom. I will have video up in the next few days, but here are a few photos. Taylor was in the drama, and Drew was in the choir. The last photo is just a fun one of the kids after the performance.
God is Good!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
I am thinking of you...
Our baby boy is going to be three tomorrow! I'm sure your heart is aching as the day nears. He is a beautiful, fun, caring, special little boy.. just like you, I'm sure. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you. That I don't look into his eyes, and know that halfway around the world there is a young girl, you are 20 now, who is missing him very much. I hope that God fills you with peace, knowing that he is loved and cared for to the fullest extent of our hearts. He has brought us so much joy! But knowing the pain you carry is still heartbreaking. I pray for you often and ask God to watch over you, and bless you because of your decision to give our little guy a life, even if it meant loosing part of you in the process. He will always know how much you loved him, and the sacrifice you made.
And to his first "Omma", who cared for him as her own for over 2 years! Your kind, caring, fun loving personality is present in our home every day. Our baby will always carry a part of you. I'm sure that he is who he is, because of the love and care that he received in your home. Words will never be enough to thank you for the sacrifice you made, in loving him with all your heart, then letting him go. He was loved, no doubt, because he can give love so freely. He knows what it means to cuddle, and snuggle, and look into our eyes with such a deep, caring spirit. That is all because he received that from you first. You are a part of our lives, forever. We love you so very much, and pray for you often. That God will allow you to watch him grow and know and see how much he is loved, through our communications.
Three years ago, one mommy gave him life... then his next mommy taught him to love.. and I pray that we can teach him how to love life, and find comfort in the fact that he has lots of people, around the world, that love him!
Happy Birthday Toby! Your life is one that I pray God will bless in many ways, most importantly through the ways you can bless others!
God is Good!
(Birthday pictures will be up tomorrow!)
And to his first "Omma", who cared for him as her own for over 2 years! Your kind, caring, fun loving personality is present in our home every day. Our baby will always carry a part of you. I'm sure that he is who he is, because of the love and care that he received in your home. Words will never be enough to thank you for the sacrifice you made, in loving him with all your heart, then letting him go. He was loved, no doubt, because he can give love so freely. He knows what it means to cuddle, and snuggle, and look into our eyes with such a deep, caring spirit. That is all because he received that from you first. You are a part of our lives, forever. We love you so very much, and pray for you often. That God will allow you to watch him grow and know and see how much he is loved, through our communications.
Three years ago, one mommy gave him life... then his next mommy taught him to love.. and I pray that we can teach him how to love life, and find comfort in the fact that he has lots of people, around the world, that love him!
Happy Birthday Toby! Your life is one that I pray God will bless in many ways, most importantly through the ways you can bless others!
God is Good!
(Birthday pictures will be up tomorrow!)
Friday, April 11, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Fun Filled Weekend
Okay, so this photo wasn't taken over the weekend, but it is too darn cute not to post! These are wigs we got at a Cav's game a few years ago, and the kids just love to put them on and run around the house! Here is Toby and his friend Ella enjoying the wigs!
Drew has been working on a trick dribbling team, The Ballerz, for about 8 or 9 weeks now. The team just started up and is for K-12 grades. So he is one of the youngest, but he is really getting in there. They had their first performance at MC Sports here in town this weekend. It was so exciting to see him doing this. He practices a lot. This is one of his favorite tricks.
Here he is doing the "Superman". He's had to work on this one, but has really gotten the hang of it! They are spinning around in a circle on their stomachs while dribbling the ball. It often gets away from him, but he did very well at the performance! (I have some video that will be on YouTube later this week!)
Also this weekend, we had a surprise 25th anniversary party for Nate's mom and stepdad. For any of you that know my mother-in-law... it is IMPOSSIBLE to get anything by her. However, we pulled it off! She was completely stunned! She had no idea. We told her it was Toby's birthday party, so she came with gifts in hand! I wish I had a photo of her walking in the door, but as soon as we yelled "Happy Anniversary" she took off and we couldn't see her! All I can say is, I know there were tears! They were very happy! She told me at church on Sunday she didn't sleep all night, she just kept thinking "I can't believe they did that for us!" What a blessing to be able to minister to her in this way!
Also this weekend, Nate delivered the message to the senior high students! It was amazing. My prayer was simply that God would use Nate, his past and his present, to encourage students to realize that God's forgiveness is freeing, and can help them through their daily struggles and hurts. God did that in a mighty way! I believe that the message God delivered through Nate will be one many of those students will remember for a long time.
Nate was also very encouraged by his Mom and Stepdad being there, as well as one of his brothers and his wife and one of his sisters and her husband. It is such a blessing to him to have their support.
Oh yea... and I got another year older this weekend... my dad quickly helped point out to me that I am only 18 years away from 50! You do the math!! That is so scarry! Where has the time gone?
God is Good!
Drew has been working on a trick dribbling team, The Ballerz, for about 8 or 9 weeks now. The team just started up and is for K-12 grades. So he is one of the youngest, but he is really getting in there. They had their first performance at MC Sports here in town this weekend. It was so exciting to see him doing this. He practices a lot. This is one of his favorite tricks.
Here he is doing the "Superman". He's had to work on this one, but has really gotten the hang of it! They are spinning around in a circle on their stomachs while dribbling the ball. It often gets away from him, but he did very well at the performance! (I have some video that will be on YouTube later this week!)
Also this weekend, we had a surprise 25th anniversary party for Nate's mom and stepdad. For any of you that know my mother-in-law... it is IMPOSSIBLE to get anything by her. However, we pulled it off! She was completely stunned! She had no idea. We told her it was Toby's birthday party, so she came with gifts in hand! I wish I had a photo of her walking in the door, but as soon as we yelled "Happy Anniversary" she took off and we couldn't see her! All I can say is, I know there were tears! They were very happy! She told me at church on Sunday she didn't sleep all night, she just kept thinking "I can't believe they did that for us!" What a blessing to be able to minister to her in this way!
Also this weekend, Nate delivered the message to the senior high students! It was amazing. My prayer was simply that God would use Nate, his past and his present, to encourage students to realize that God's forgiveness is freeing, and can help them through their daily struggles and hurts. God did that in a mighty way! I believe that the message God delivered through Nate will be one many of those students will remember for a long time.
Nate was also very encouraged by his Mom and Stepdad being there, as well as one of his brothers and his wife and one of his sisters and her husband. It is such a blessing to him to have their support.
Oh yea... and I got another year older this weekend... my dad quickly helped point out to me that I am only 18 years away from 50! You do the math!! That is so scarry! Where has the time gone?
God is Good!
Monday, April 7, 2008
Please pray for our Friends
We had a wonderful weekend, and I have lots of photos and a few videos to upload... but until I have the time to do that in the next day or so, I thought I would add this...
There is a team from our church currently in Africa. Please click here and take a look at their blog. Please be praying for them as they are away. Pray that God uses them in a mighty way to impact those of the Central African Republic through their works and their gifts.
God is Good!
There is a team from our church currently in Africa. Please click here and take a look at their blog. Please be praying for them as they are away. Pray that God uses them in a mighty way to impact those of the Central African Republic through their works and their gifts.
God is Good!
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