McKinnley Museum & Monument

Today was a wonderful day!! We had two snow days Thursday and Friday, and then we had today off for Martin Luther King day. I encouraged Nate to take a personal day so we could do something as a family! While the snow days were fun... it was too cold (-20 or so) to go outside and do anything. I figured the kids would likely kill each other if they had to spend another day cooped up inside. So we began to plan a mini road trip!

When we had Toby's finalization last March, my parents purchased a membership (which is an amazing deal, by the way) for us to the McKinnley Museum and Monument as a gift. Unfortunately, we had not yet used it. So I thought what a great opportunity to take a day and do something fun like that. And boy am I glad we did. The kids really enjoyed themselves and look forward to going again soon!

The three kids inside the Indian "Hut"

Nate had to get a photo of the Anvil... "GO SMITHIES!!!" (The "mascot" of our High School for those that may not know)

Taylor having fun inside a dinasour head!


This was Toby in front of the dinasour, before he realized it MOVED... then he wouldn't come within 10 feet of it without attaching himself to me...


McKinnley Museum... Canton Ohio...Highly recommend it...

God is good

Drew's Cavs Game

Drew and Nate got to go to a Cavs game Friday night! We got tickets for Drew for Christmas through the Upward program. Part of the package was that he got to go down on the floor before warm-ups and give the player's a Hi-5! He was so very excited. Literally counting down the days for about 2 weeks!

Here is Drew waiting in the "tunnel" before the Hi-5's were handed out. He is the one in the white turtle neck. He even got on the big screen! (once during the tunnel, and once during the game!) All of the players "walked" through to make sure that they got to slap each child's hand. Drew told me that LeBron Hi-5ed everyone, but he gave Drew a Pound (or rock)! He thought that was way cool!
Here is Wally Szczerbiak coming through the line.


And Anderson Verajao going through the line!

Nate and Drew really enjoyed the game! The Cav's won their 20th straight home game, remaining undefeated this season at The Q!

Drew got to watch some of the best players in the NBA!
Including the One and Only LeBron James!

After the game, Nate and Drew hung around to see about getting some autographs. Nate said LeBron's mom was there hanging out and she was so funny and personable and chatty with everyone. Chris Paul, All-Star Point Guard for the New Orleans Hornets stuck around and signed a few autographs and Drew was lucky enough to get one! He was thrilled!

I thought this was a fun shot of Drew... I think he could walk under Z's legs!

Nate got a pair of tickets for he and I to go in a few weeks on a date night! Should be fun! Now we just need to find a babysitter on a school night... funny how the guys don't think all that through! But what a nice idea, and I am looking forward to it!

God is Good!

Happy Birthday Paps

Okay, since my dad's birthday was yesterday, it may appear as if I forgot.. but honestly... I DID NOT FORGET YOU DAD!!!

It just turned into a crazy evening, and by the time I remembered we hadn't made his video, the kids were in bed, well 2/3rds of them anyway.

So, here's your video dad. And your favorite song is on your cell voicemail for you to play over and over all year!

We love you Paps!

God is Good!

Circle of Relationship

More from The Shack

And so why did God create man first? I know there are lots of biblical explanations, but I thought this was pretty good, regarding relationships between man and woman...

Page 148 in my book talks about the "circle" of life, in the sense of Men and women..This is Jesus talking about the differences in Men and Women and why each of them turned from God at Creation. About the "roles" that they have given themselves, not the roles God gave them. Here is what Jesus says (the "we" being the trinity)

"Power in the hands of independent humans, be they men or women, does corrupt. Mack, don't you see how filling roles is the opposite of relationship? We want male and female to be counterparts, face-to-face equals, each unique and different, distinctive in gender but complementary, and each empowered uniquely by Sarayu (The Holy Spirit) from whom all true power and authority originates. Remember, I am not about performance and fitting into man-made structures; I am about being. As you grow in relationship with me, what you do will simply reflect who you really are."

Then Mack asks "But you came in the form of a man. Doesn't that say something?"

"Yes, but not what many have assumed. I came as a man to complete a wonderful picture in how we made you. From the first day we hid the woman within the man, so that at the right time we could remove her from within him. We didn't create man to live alone; she was purposed from the beginning. By taking her out of him, he birthed her in a sense. We created a circle of relationship, like our own, but for humans. She out of him, and now all the males, including me, birthed through her, and all originating, or birthed, from God."

God is Good!

What is Evil?

As I said in my previous post, I have really enjoyed reading The Shack. The beginning of the book is difficult. As it states in the notes on the back of the book... Mack's youngest daughter Missy is abducted and brutally murdered. While it is not graphic, it is still not easy to read. But it is necessary to understand where the remainder of the book takes Mack.

When you read this book, you have to do so with the understanding that it is FICTION! As Christians, we can so easily take a book like this and tear it to shreds because of the biblical inaccuracies. I, however, reading the book as it was intended, enjoyed the insight I gained through the story.

For example... there is a text, on page 136 of my book, where Mack is struggling with The Holy Spirit over Good and Evil... Here is the response he gets from Sarayu, The Holy Spirit...

"... evil is a word we use to describe the absence of Good, just as we use the word darkness to describe the absence of Light or death to describe the absence of Life. Both evil and darkness can only be understood in relation to Light and Good; they do not have any actual existence. I am Light and I am Good. I am Love and there is no darkness in me. Light and Good actually exist. So, removing yourself from me will plunge you into darkness. Declaring independence will result in evil because apart from me, you can only draw upon yourself. That is death because you have separated yourself from me: Life."

Did you get all that? Are you struggling right now? If so, can you see what the is Good in your life? Do you think you're in darkness? Why not look for the Light!

Are you separated from Life?

God is Good

The Shack

Have you read it?

It's all the buzz!

I had heard from different sources that it was the book to read, at work, at church, friends, etc. So I was chatting with Nate's Aunt Teresa about it and she mentioned that she had the book and wanted to read it as well. That was at Thanksgiving. Well, over Christmas Break, she got the book to me to read. What great timing. Things at work were VERY slow, as in I was the only one in the office, and who thinks a school office is open over Christmas break? So I had plenty of time to read!

I read The Shack in about a day and a half! I could not put it down. I have talked to several people since who are in process of reading it and have been putt off by the beginning of the book... if you are one of those, let me encourage you to KEEP READING!! It is so worth it.

So here's the overview...(From the back of the book)

"Mackenzie Allen Philips' youngest daughter, Missy, has been abducted during a family vacation and evidence that she may have been brutally murdered is found in an abandoned shack deep in teh Oregon wilderness. Four years later in the midst of his Great Sadness, Mack receives a suspicious note, apparently from God, inviting him back to that shack for a weekend.

Against his better judgment he arrives at the shack on a wintry afternoon and walks back into his darkest nightmare. What he finds there will change Mack's world forever.

In a world where religion seems to grow increasingly irrelevant The Shack wrestles with the timeless question "Where is God in a world so filled with unspeakable pain?" The answers Mack gets will astound you and perhaps transform you as much as it did him. You'll want everyone you know to read this book!"

I'd love to hear from you if you've read it... I'll post some excerpts and personal reflection in the coming days...

God is Good

Happy Birthday Rudy

Happy Birthday Papaw Rudy!

Christmas 2008

Well, if there is one thing about Blogger that I can't figure out, or don't like, it's that all the photos are posted backward. You would think that as you add photos, they would be added to the bottom, but they are not... the add the new ones at the top! Usually I rearrange them, but I'm not up for that tonight, so you will get the events of Christmas Day, then Christmas Eve!

Here is Drew on Christmas Day opening a gift from Grandma and Paps Tucker. He got a Clone Wars DVD. Yes, it was another Star Wars Christmas for Drew! I am amazed at his continued interest in it. More on that later...

Here is Taylor opening her big gift of the year. She got a new digital camera. It is not something she asked for, but something I knew she would enjoy. She was thrilled, and has already gone crazy taking photos. Aunt Katy got her a memory card and a case for her camera as well.
And on Christmas morning, daddy got a little spoiled. Mom got a great deal from a co-worker on a gently used iPod. Nate had been wanting one FOREVER, and all I ever heard was how sad it was that his GRANDMOTHER had one and he didn't. Well... now he can enjoy his! (You will notice, when mom is the photographer, and the blogger... there are no beautiful Christmas morning photos of her :))
Here is daddy and Toby first thing in the morning. Drew woke up around 6:30 and I quickly informed him that we were not getting up until at least 8:00... is that terrible? I'm not sure exactly when Taylor got up, maybe 7:30. Then they woke Toby up at 8:00 as well as us. I think Drew just sat in the living room by the tree the entire time, admiring his gifts. Then once we all woke up, we allowed the kids to open their gifts from Santa and their stocking gifts before breakfast. Here Toby is opening his new Elmo video that Santa brought him. I can confirm that we have watched it at least 25 times since he received it. Way to go Santa!

Taylor and Drew got some MadLibs in their stocking... Love those! And Santa brought them a new Sleeping Bag each for Alive this year. I guess Barbie is out!
Christmas Eve we went to Church at 6:00 and then on to the Moser's for our annual Christmas Eve gathering. Everyone made it this year but Jeremy and Christina and baby Graham! It was a great time. Drew, back to the Star Wars, received the one thing he asked for over and over again. A talking Clone Trooper Helmet! As you can see from this photo, he was beyond words and nearly passed out!
Toby is showing off his Pajamas. Each year, the tradition is that all the kids get new PJ's. That is the first present they open on Christmas Eve and typically change into them right away before opening other gifts! It's a fun tradition. Toby has been into Monkeys this year, so he got PJ's with Monkeys on them! Drew got Star Wars PJ's (Go Figure)... and Taylors are the pretty Green ones with flowers!
And here are most of the kids around Grandma waiting to open their PJ's. Most of the older kids have figured it out, but the younger ones still aren't sure what is in their first present until they open it! This is Lincoln, Taylor, Averie, Kiley, Dawson, Braden, Grandma, Aunt Mer and Toby.

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas as well! It is such a joyous time, and the gifts are just a bonus!

God is Good

New Years Eve 2008

Well, we had a pretty quiet New Years Eve. We went to Nate's sisters house and some other friends came over as well. We just hung out, watched TV at 11:45 for about a half hour, then headed home around 1. The kids had fun, too. Toby and Drew came with us, and Taylor went to a friends, as she did last year.

Toby found Kiley's Hannah Montana wig, and would not put it down all night. My one friend teased that we needed to make sure the Korean government didn't see this or they may reconsider. At first it was cute, but by the end of the night, I was ready to burn the wig!


And the kids had a lot of fun dancing to Toby Mac. Here, the boys were putting on a show. I know it's a little dark, but I think you can get the gist of it! They were really getting into it.

Hope you all have a blessed 2009!

God is Good!

Cousin's Sleep Over

So last night we had three of our seven cousins over for a sleep over! We were hoping everyone could make it (Well, I guess Graham is a little young for a sleepover) but the holidays are pretty hectic! So the Young kids came over and we had a blast! We made our own pizzas and mostly enjoyed them... I think Kiley only ate a half a bite of hers! Here they are enjoying their creations!

And Drew and Braden being their silly selves! (Okay, Drew being his silly self, Braden being good!)
After dinner we watched Horton Hears a Who. By the time it was over, and they got ready for bed, it was 9:30! So we got their beds made up and started trying to get kids to sleep! Drew and Braden were a little busy playing with their DS's.

Taylor and Kiley watched Cinderella 2 in Taylor's room...

And Toby and Dawson were watching Star Wars in Toby's bed. Toby only sucks his thumb when he is with his buddy Dawson. Dawson was telling me how he went to the dentist and the dentist told him that he can't suck his thumb any more. It was very painful for him to tell me this, as he stuck his thumb in his mouth!


Believe it or not, they were all asleep by 11:00 and didn't get up until around 8:00. We had a nice big breakfast of heart shaped pancakes and bacon, then got dressed and cleaned up and before they knew it, it was time for Aunt Mer to come and pick them up!

I think all the kids had fun! I need to get some Christmas photos up. I will try and do that this weekend!

Have a Blessed New Years Day!! And don't forget to eat some Dduk Gook for Good Luck!

God is Good!

The New Additions

I always new we would adopt again, just didn't think this would be the result...

Meet Leapord...

And Hermie

Tonight we are having a cousin's sleepover. We were hoping all of our cousins on Nate's side could come, but we were very happy to have half of them! I'll update with photos tomorrow... right now, we're still trying to get them to sleep!

God is Good!

Christmas Prayers

Wishing you all a happy Christmas Eve. My heart is heavy this morning, however. Please read on...

You may remember this post about a young girl adopted from China that is battling Leukemia.

Well, please continue to pray for this family, as they got some bad news yesterday and they are in more appointments today, Christmas Eve, to determine their course of action. (click on the link above to read their blog)

As we all enjoy our Christmas (or some, maybe not so much), remember the simple blessings that God has given us, including our health and the health of our children. But most of all, remember the gift of Salvation that God provided on this day. A gift that, at such a terrible time for the Miyashita family, provides HOPE! Hope in knowing that they will never be permanently separated from their beautiful daughter. No matter what God's plan is for her near future, her ETERNITY is guaranteed!!

So as you tuck your children in tonight, as you check off your Christmas list, as Santa makes his way around the world, say an extra little prayer. Pray for Lydia, that God would heal her body and that they would find a treatment that is suitable. Pray also for Mark and Monica, for patience, and for a hope. For knowing that it is okay to be down, but they need to continue to look UP! That they would find their strength and endurance in Christ! And for Max, that through all of this, he will understand the love of his parents, his sister and his God! That God would protect him from the pain that is being felt around him.

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas. As my Aunt Opal wrote in her Christmas card this year..

Christmas Love
ChristWas Love
And always will be!

God is Good!

Tis the Season

Well, the Holiday Season is upon us!! I say that with unsure feelings... I LOVE Christmas... it is my absolute favorite Holiday. When I was younger (and maybe not so young) it was all about getting stuff! I loved getting presents... but now, it's all changed. Yeah, I like a nice gift or two... who doesn't... but that is not why Christmas is my favorite Holiday. I am so moved by the fact that God, who created earth and let us destroy all that was good about it, would humble himself and come here in the form of man, Jesus, to serve. What does that leave me to do? Want more gifts? Be the Grinch when things don't go my way? No, I am reminded that I am to Serve!

But... there are days... let me tell you!!! I love to make people happy. I love to do things for people. I love to give things to people. But I am learning I can't be all things to all people all the time. Especially now that I am working. That just doesn't leave much room for God to work, does it? So this Christmas is going to be a little different around our house. The kids already know that there won't be as many presents, and they are fine with that. It is amazing to me, but they are perfectly happy. Taylor even said to me "Mom, even though there may not be a lot of presents, I have a feeling this is going to be the best Christmas ever!" Wow! I just hope she's still saying that on Christmas Morning :)

But to keep the "holiday" spirit alive, we once again pose for the wonderful Christmas photo. Now, I know many of you may be getting our wonderful card (hopefully by weeks end), but I thought I would throw out some of the photo outtakes!

I had this great idea of taking the kids photos at Church after the concert tonight... this is some of what I got...

Toby is Bored, Drew is mad, and Taylor can't believe her brothers won't cooperate, it's a photo op after all!
Then there's this one...Taylor is bossing, Drew is still mad, and Toby's having fun all by himself!

So they weren't working out at church, so we decided to try again at home, with the usual by the Christmas tree. All I said was "Taylor and Drew, stay still and we'll eventually get a good one of Toby!" So here is the good one of Toby! Yeah, that really worked! I guess Drew had to see for himself!

And for your viewing pleasure, a clip from tonight's program. Drew is on the bottom right, usually the 2nd to last one. And Taylor is on the top left, usually 2nd from the end. It was a wonderful program. The kids did great, as did the adults but they aren't in this clip! Enjoy!

God is Good!

What is our role?

Well, it has been a fun weekend... and a not so fun weekend. Nate has a paper due for school tonight (it's late on Sunday) so he has been holed up in the office working on the paper. And if I'm being honest, he's been a little grouchy. I know he's under a lot of stress, so I'm trying to not take it personally!

Friday evening, a friend of ours was in a car accident. It was pretty scary, from the sounds of things. He ended up showing up at the Christmas party we were all at, but said he was hurting. He went to the doctors yesterday and has a sprained back and neck. He is doing well otherwise, physically. The woman that pulled out in front of him was lifeflown to Akron and we don't really have a status on her. Please pray for her. And what a praise that our friend is okay. It could have been much worse from the sounds of it. His F250 is totaled most likely, as well as her minivan.

Also Friday evening, I attended our Sr. High sleepover at church. We had about 40 girls come, and was a really nice time. We baked cut out cookies on Saturday morning for about 3 hours. They will be given to families in our community next weekend as an outreach event.

So what is God doing in the lives of teenage girls?? That is what I would like to know! I am the adult leader of a small group of girls ages 14-16. We meet once a week and have a study that we are going through together. I have a great group this year. This is our first year together, with me as a leader at least. They are all very good friends, and are mostly all faithful to being there each week. We have learned a lot from each other. I can't even imagine being in high school right now. Things sure have changed! I know I've changed a lot, too, but it seems like things have changed since I was in school, 15 years ago!

I was not a believer when I was in high school, so a lot of the things I did, I had no eternal perspective. I attended church, so I wasn't a bad girl, but I just didn't have any idea how a relationship with Jesus was going to change my life and change my views! It's amazing. While I used to think certain things were okay, now I realize that God has so much to say about it, and so much better things in store! Relationships in particular. Talking to these young girls about what God wants for their lives... and also thinking I have a pre-teen coming up the way!

Anyone know of any good books to read about raising a pre-teen girl in a Christian home in today's society? I'd love to hear from you. My heart is burdened for Taylor and what she is about to be going through. She is 10, goes to a public school, and right now has no interest in dating or "having a boyfriend" as they say! But I know the time is coming. She has a young boy at church right now that has his eye on her. He's a year older, and a great kid, but he's always around! In a way it's cute, but in a way IT SCARES ME TO DEATH!! So any feedback from my blog world friends would be great!

Well, that's what's on my heart today... for what it's worth. The world of teenage Girls!!

God is Good!

Part of the Family

Well, when you adopt, you just instantly become a part of this big, very big, international, very international, family! It's just how it is. You don't even know it is happening, and then it does!

So here's a peek into what that is like...

There is a family, that I have actually known since my Smucker days. Mark and Monica Miyashita and their two children, Lydia (born in China) and Max (born in South Korea). Mark (who by the way is Japanese) worked in IT when I worked at Smuckers, and was always a fun guy to be around. Everyone knew and loved Mark, and still do, I'm sure! I had the opportunity to meet Mark's wife a few years ago when Nate and I were attending an adoption class that is a requirement of the process. Mark and Monica were in process to adopt their son, and we were in process to adopt (this was early in our process).

Well, a few weeks ago, someone, somehow brought their name up in conversation and I said "Hey, I know them!" Then, sadly, I found out the topic of their discussion. It seems that their daughter, Lydia, was diagnosed with AML Lukemia. Lydia is 5 years old, and should have started Kindergarten this fall. She has been in the hospital in Akron, and I don't know the entire story of what all she has been through, but I know a few rounds of chemo are behind her, and she is currently in need of a bone marrow transplant... this is where "being part of the family" comes in.

You see, being adopted makes things like this a lot more difficult. There is no immediate, blood related people around to offer a transplant. Word got so far as a blood drive was performed in China to try and find matches, thousands of people came out to support. Her photo and story were then displayed on the news in China for several weeks, trying to find her birth family in hopes of a bone marrow match. Eventually (again, I haven't read every entry, but you should, and I will!) her birth family was found, and her birth sister is a match.

The process has been a roller coaster, and the family is now working to bring her birthfamily to the United States to perform the transplant. I recieved several e-mails in the last few days from adoption groups, working to raise money to help this family with the travel expenses.

Lots of prayers are going up for this little girl, and all that is going on in her life! Please take a moment to read her story, and pray for her and her families!

Here is the link to her CaringBridge website http://www.caringbridge.org/cb/viewHome.do

Also if you feel led to donate here is a link to an organization I am a part of that is trying to provide travel expenses for the birth family http://friendsofadoptivefamilies.com/current-news

God is Good!

Another break

Okay, so I'm running out of things to post about adoption. I have a few more ideas, but they'll have to wait. I would love to hear from any of you questions you may have about adoption. Kinda a Q&A... and there really isn't much I won't share! So if you have a question, e-mail me (Mills Family), I'm putting the e-mail link on the left hand side of the blog.

Until I have a new adoption post, I thought I would post a few photos! The snow has been falling here in sunny Ohio!! So first a few photos of the kids playing in the snow on Tuesday...
Drew throwing a snowball! And LOVING it!!

Taylor jumping on the Trampoline, or at least ATTEMPTING TO!!

Toby trying to make a Snow angel on the deck!! Didn't last long!!

On a whim tonight, I took the kids to get their haircut! Drew didn't want to go, so he goes on Saturday, but Taylor and Toby were up for it. I just thought we were going to get trims! I guess I was wrong. Taylor is at the age, I let her explain how she wants her hair. I've been asking her to get it cut short again for about a year. Well, today, I didn't say anything, and this is how she got it cut!! I LOVE IT!!!

And it's hard to see, but I went a little shorter with Toby, too! I think it's adorable, but I guess you have to see it in person to really get an idea!

And ... HAPPY 13TH BIRTHDAY LINCOLN!!! Our oldest nephew. Man how time flies... I remember when he looked like this...





























E-mail me with questions/discussion topics!

God is Good!

The Birthmom

Ahhh... how do you even begin a post like this one! I've been wanting to post about this, but truly have no idea what to say, so I guess I'll just speak from the heart. I am no expert. I have no firsthand knowledge of what it is like to be a birthmom of a child placed for adoption, but I know what it is like to be a birthmom. So that's all this is, from the heart.

A day does not go by that I do not think of Toby's birthmom in some capacity. Whether I see a young pregnant girl at the school I work at, or Toby does something that just completely melts my heart, or Toby does something that is not anything like the rest of our family. All these things make me think of this young 17 year old girl who had to make a very tough decision.

We know very little about Toby's birthmom, so we can not even speculate as to why she chose to give Toby life, through adoption. We know that she was 17, a child herself. And some other things we know about her we will keep for Toby, but nothing dramatic. Nothing shocking. Nothing that would make you say "she's one of those girls, like so many people think. I'm sure she was just your average teenager, that life just happened to. She became pregnant and she knew that she could not be the mother that her child needed.

Often times we stereotype "Birthmoms" as bad people. Not for the choice they made of giving their child to another family (we often praise them for that) but for the choice that got them into that position in the first place.

Let me say that I have seen many teen mothers through my days. Some I went to school with, some that are related, some that are even from our church, and the choices these young girls make are not always the choices I would make, but we need to support them either way. Often times we encourage these young girls to marry. Sometimes that works out just fine and is the right thing to do. I can think of several girls from my high school that that worked for, and they are still happily married. Sometimes we tell them that they'll be fine to raise the child on their own, but we give them no resources or education on what it means to have such a huge responsibility at such a young age, and these girls suffer, as do their children as they go from job to job, or welfare agency to welfare agency. There are some young girls who decide to raise their children on their own, continue to get a decent education and find a good job that will fully support themselves and their child. Then there are those that choose to let go of their babies, and put them up for adoption. To me, this is the ULTIMATE sacrifice.

I know what it is like to birth a child. Words can never explain the feeling of having that new life inside of you. I've said many times that adoption has it's own "high points" that compare very closely to biological children, but the truth is, there is nothing even close to feeling that life inside of you! I can not imagine the pain that these birthmothers must suffer, likely for their entire lives, of letting that child go.

I can only pray, and I do often, that Toby's birthmom, while she has pain, also finds comfort in knowing that he is loved and cared for beyond words! We have sent an update to be placed in Toby's file in Korea, and plan to do so at least once a year, with photos. When Toby is older, we may even begin to include ways in which to contact us. Right now is not the time for that, but in the future, I'm sure it may be a big part of Toby's life, as well as hers, for them to know that they both know and understand the love they have, and will continue to have for each other.

Not sure if any of that made sense.. but it is what was on my heart today. If you are reading this and you've ever walked this road, know that in most cases (I can not, of course, say all) your childs family loves you and admires you, and hopefully they tell your/their child about the amazing woman that you are!

God is Good

Why Korea?

There are several reasons we considered Korea when we decided to move forward with the adoption process. I mentioned before that Nate was very interested in China at first, and I was okay with checking into that more. However, China has very strict income guidelines. As a family of what would be 5, we did not qualify for China due to our income. So we began checking into other countries.

Our list was soon narrowed down, in part based on finances. We looked at countries that we felt we could afford. As awful as this sounds, it is the reality of international adoption! We decided on Korea for many reasons, here are just a few.

Minimal Waiting Times
Young Children at referral/arrival
Healthy children
Children are in Foster Care vs. an orphanage after about 3-6 months of age
Children receive excellent health care for any medical concerns
Longevity and Security of the Korean program

Funny how those were the things that made us decide on Korea, and yet we accepted the referral of a toddler (not really a YOUNG referral) who had medical issues (not completely healthy) and it took us forever to come up with the finances (so minimal wait times didn't mean a whole lot)! It's amazing to know God has a plan, no matter how much in control we think we are.

I also thought I would mention that during the process, as we were waiting and trying to decide what God wanted us to do, we considered changing programs. We seriously considered adopting from Haiti. We were even softly matched with a young boy, only to find out the next day that another family was in front of us and had accepted his referral. His beautiful smile and face is still in my memory! What a sweet boy and I'm sure he has a wonderful home!

So when deciding what program, there are many things to consider. These are just a few of the reasons we chose to adopt from Korea!

God is Good!

Why International?

Many people wonder and ask why we chose to adopt internationally when there were so many children in need of forever families in the United States! What a perfectly appropriate question, and I totally understand the curiosity.

When adoption first crossed my mind, I had no thoughts of going the international route. I assumed I would just adopt someday domestically, likely through the Social Services organizations.

As Nate and I talked about adoption after we were married, he said he always dreamed and thought of adopting an Asian girl, likely from China. So we discussed it, but at the time, felt adoption was in the distant future, so no decisions were made.

Then our lives began to change. With the loss of our babies, we both felt that if we were going to adopt, it would be internationally for several reasons. As we began the process, our first two children were 7 and 4. At an age where they were completely aware of what was going on. They had felt, deeply, the loss of their siblings. They understood that mommy had a baby brother/sister in her belly and that the baby died and went to be with Jesus. They had already suffered so much heartache. There is no way we could travel down the bumpy road of domestic adoption.

We could not chance going through the process of fostering children, and loving children, and having them return to their birth families. Or having a birth mother choose us, then change her mind late in the process. We knew that international adoption had a much higher success rate, without the heartaches.

I will say now, should we be blessed enough to adopt again, domestic may not be out of the picture, we would once again, need to sit down and decide what is best for our family, at this time in our lives.

God is Good

Adoption Books!

I'm being lazy today. Actually, this week has been CRAZY, not lazy! So I thought I would redirect to an old post I did on adoption books. (Click on the link) I have some new ones I want to share with you as well. I'll save that post for another day later in the month!

Happy Adoption Awareness Month!!

God is Good!

Veteran's Day

Flag Display at the Wayne County Schools Career Center!

Today is a very special day. This is a day in which we are to take time to remember and honor our veterans who have served so faithfully for our country. Some served at the price of their own lives. There is never an adequate way to thank those who have made such a sacrifice. Those who have served our country faithfully, deserve our respect, our gratitude and our admiration. Those that served, and were fortunate enough to survive combat, will be changed forever. The pain and the burdens that they will carry for the rest of their lives is something that we, as civilians can not understand or comprehend. Those that serve, and were never in a situation to fight on the front lines for their country deserve our respect, just the same. These people were willing, at a moments notice, to leave their homes, their families, their comforts, to put their lives on the line so that we can continue to enjoy our freedoms. Whether or not they were ever called into combat has no relevance. There sole job, their hearts purpose was to defend our country. And I know they did it, and continue to do it, with honor, in whatever capacity.

Whatever your views on politics, religion or foreign affairs, I pray that we can all respect, honor and care for our veterans!

I would like to honor
My Grandfather – Vince Macrino – Marines
My Father – Ron Tucker – Army
My Father-in-Law – Rudy Moser – Army – Vietnam
My Sister – Treena Whipple – Army
My Brother-In-Law – Tom Ballinger – Army – Iraq

I would like to remember:
My Grandfather – Homer Tucker – Army – WWII
My Great Uncle - Robert Macrino - Army - Vietnam

And if you think this doesn’t tie into my posts on adoption, you are wrong. I want to try and briefly describe, as I understand it, the way in which international adoption began in Korea. Holt International is one of the largest adoption agencies in the country. Harry and Bertha Holt, during the Korean War, saw a need to provide families for the many orphaned children in Korea due to the war. This family, started their efforts by providing funding to help these children. Later, they worked tirelessly to open the doors to international adoption.

As quoted from their website:

"The Holts’ adoption was revolutionary. Their example showed that a family’s love can transcend the barriers of race and nationality. At a time when adoption was regarded as something to be kept secret, they adopted children who were obviously not their birth children. Through their deep Christian faith and fierce determination, they showed the world that adoption is a banner of love, not a badge of shame."

This post has been edited from the initial post. As I reread it, i realized that my point did not come across the way I intended it! We are thankful for our service men and women that fight tirelessly to provide the freedoms we have today, that allow for us to adopt a child. My point was not specific to Korea, or the Korean War. (I am horrified at the way that originally came across! Please forgive me!)

God is Good!

Favorite Things

Taylor performed tonight at the Women's event at church, Holiday Extravaganza! I think she did an amazing job, in front of 500 people!

God is Good!

How can you love him the same?

When you are going through the adoption process, you’d be crazy if these thoughts didn’t go through your mind. For that matter, when you have a second child, no matter how that child comes into your life, those thoughts go through your mind!

I always knew that we, Nate myself and the kids, had plenty of love to give to a child. But when you welcome a child into your home, that is already 2 years old, how does that happen? How does the love just “come”? These are all things I wondered, but always knew that being in God’s Will… it would just happen. And it did. Before Toby was home, I was in love with a photo and videos of this, chubby cheeked little boy. I can not tell you how many times I looked at his photos and watched his video with tears in my eyes waiting for him to be in my arms. As I waited at that International Gate at O’Hare, it was literally like waiting on my child who had been on a 2 year vacation away from me. There was no doubt that he was mine, and that I would not be complete at that moment until he was in my arms.

Did I love him the same way I loved Taylor and Drew, absolutely! Was it instantaneous, absolutely! Does it work like that for everyone, NO WAY!! I know that we are an exception. There were so many requests that I brought to The Lord before Toby’s arrival. I prayed that he would stay healthy, and he did. I prayed that he would not be sick from the plane and altitude adjustments, and he wasn’t. I prayed that he would recognize us from the photos we sent, and he did. I prayed that he would make eye contact with us quickly and often, and he did! I prayed that he would eat well, AND HE DID! I prayed that he would not be afraid of our large animals, and he wasn’t. I prayed that he would handle his carseat okay, and he did. I could go on and on! But I have heard many adoption stories where these things were not so easy. Whether by people who adopted infants, or whether it was a toddler, all of these things often times can be a huge issue.

I have heard of people, 6 months after their child was home, rejoicing in the kiss they finally received. Toby gave me a kiss on the train at the O’Hare airport, only hours after he was placed in my arms. So you may ask, what did they do right? NOTHING! I’m sure we screwed things up many times! I’m sure we did lots of things wrong. But the one think I know we did, and did often, is pray. All of the above requests and issues I was concerned about, I not only prayed about often, but I asked others to pray specifically about many of those things.

We hope that God will provide an opportunity to adopt again. But I am honest with myself, in knowing that we may not be so lucky next time. We may not have all the same answers to our prayers. We may have a child that does not want to look us in the eyes. We may have a child that makes it more difficult to love in the same way. But I can promise you one thing. If God does allow us to do this all over again, I wouldn’t do a thing differently, and I know I will love that child no matter.

Taking a break from the Adoption stuff, today was a big day! Drew had his first Upward Basketball game...









































And Taylor and Nate went to the Daddy Daughter Dance this evening. They are at dinner right now, and then off to the dance!

What's the Right Thing To Say?

*A continuation on my posts specifically on adoption during Celebrate Adoption Month*

So today I'm at work, the job I've only been at for about 10 weeks, and two teachers come up to me and see the photo on my computer. One says, "So are these your children?" I proudly tell them that yes, those are my children, and I can see them squinting and looking a little closer at the photo. I know what's about to come next, or not. There was some awkward small talk for a few moments. They are beautiful... She looks just like her mom...How old are they... then, the more outgoing of the two bursts out "So, is he adopted?" Just like that. I proudly said yes, he is adopted from South Korea and tell them a little about our story. The second question was the ever popular "So why did you adopt?" To which I responded "It is something I've always known I wanted to do."

I am sure many of you have been out and about, and seen a nice Caucasian family and one glaringly different looking child. Whether that child is Asian, or African, or anything else, I'm sure the family caught your eye. But how did you react? Did you stare, but keep walking by? Did you walk up to them and say "So Where's he/she from?", did you just make small talk and not acknowledge why? I've had it all since Toby's been home.

While I'm not overly sensitive, a word of caution... some people are! Most people are just curious, and that is understood. Just about any family that has adopted would love to share their story. It is special to them, and most adoption families are happy to share, in the hopes that through their story, another child might be adopted.

So, what SHOULD you say? May I suggest a few things.. Always comment on all the children in the family "Your children are all so beautiful". I hear so often people commenting on how beautiful or handsome Toby is while my other children are standing right there. They do not get offended or hurt by it, but it would be nice to have them all acknowledged.

Never assume that adoption is talked about in the home. These days, it is much more common that the children are aware of how they came to be a part of the family, but that is not always the case. Be sensitive to that. Once you've acknowledged that the children are all part of the family, you could ask "And how did your family become complete?"

Another thing that people often say are things like "Is he your real son?", or "Are they real brother and sister?", "Are you his real mother?". These are kinda silly questions if you think about it. Of course he's my real son, he's not imaginary. It is always better to use the terminology "biological".

Some things that should just never be talked about in front of the kids (and in some cases, should just never be talked about, period!) include, "So how much did he cost" or "How much did you have to pay for him?" or any questions having to do with the finances of the adoption. Yes, adoption is expensive! We all know that. And just because a family has adopted doesn't mean they are rich! Another thing not to ask about is the circumstances that led to our children being orphaned in the first place. Each story is different. Each family knows different things about their children's biological parents. And each family wants to share WHAT they want to share, WHEN they want to share it with their children. The children do not need to hear how they were "abandoned" in front of some complete stranger.

If you want to know these things, ask them away from the kids. But don't be offended if the parents say "I don't really feel comfortable sharing that with you." Just imagine if someone came up to you and your family and said "So how much were your medical bills for that one? And what kind of labor did you have with that one?" It would seem a bit weird, wouldn't it? So why is it people think that adoptive parents should be so open with their stories?

All that being said, I am very open and happy to talk about Toby's story. There are some things I will not discuss with strangers, like his Birthfamily situation. I believe that is Toby's story to hear when he can understand, and share if he wishes. That is all he has of his Birthparents, a story, so I want him to be able to treat it as he wishes!

God is Good!

Who's the Lucky One?

Another common thing an adoptive parent hears (especially of international adoption) is "Your son/daughter is so lucky to have you!" It is a comment talked about often in adoption circles. I have pondered this many a nights! Who is the lucky one? Of course I don't believe in "luck" as much as I trust in God's plan! Not a day goes by that I don't look at any of my three kids and thank God for the blessing they are. I feel "lucky" that Toby found us, or that God chose us, as unworthy as we are, to parent such an amazing little boy (or big boy or big girl for that matter!).

We did not "save" Toby from anything. We just happened to be part of God's great plan for Toby's life. As I think back over our adoption journey, it was never looked on like "hey, I'm going to go save me a baby today." Some may say it was selfish motives that moved us to adoption. We wanted a bigger family! But in saying that, I also believe that God placed the desire on my heart for a larger family. I prayed, many times as we were going through the difficult, long road of adoption, that if we were not in God's plan, that he would wipe away the desire I was feeling. Looking at where we are today, I'm so thankful that He didn't choose that path, but rather led us to Toby! I tell people that Toby found us. Looking at those referal pictures, those beautiful almond eyes and that tiny little nose. It melted my heart, and the only way to explain why is that God created Toby to be a part of our family. He was born in my heart, long before he was placed in my arms!

And if any of you know Toby and know our family, you can't doubt that he's a Mills!

God is Good!

Child Sponsorship

Okay, so this isn't exactly Adoption, but it is very closely related. I am an avid fan and reader of Pioneer Woman. Her husband and two oldest children are currently in the Dominican Republic on a Compassion International trip. The girls were able to visit the girls they sponsor there. Marlboro Man (her husband) has been writing about their trip and today there was a post that had a link to this video!




You can read his comments here, but it is just a reminder of what Faith in Jesus can do for our lives. He comments on meeting one family, that did not understand faith, and they were very down about their circumstances. Then they met this second family, who understand that this world is not all there is, and were Praising God! They lived in the same area, had the same amount of resources for the most part, but were seeing their situations completely differently. Funny how that can be, isn't it!

So, as I post this month about adoption, some of you may be thinking "That's not for me!" If you are one of those people, maybe you should consider child sponsorship. Here are a few links to some great organizations that I would encourage you checking into.

Asia's Hope
This is an amazing organization based in Cambodia and Thailand. The founder is from our church.

Compassion International
We currently sponsor an amazing child from Kenya. It is such a joy to get his updates and photos. We have sponsored him for about 4 or 5 years, and it truly is like he is part of our family.

Hands and Feet Project
I've posted on here about them many times, but this is an orphanage in Haiti started by a few of the guys from Audio Adrenaline. They could really use our help right now as they were recently devastated by Hurricane Ike!

World Vision
While we don't have direct connections to this organization, many of our favorite bands are spokespeople for them!

God is Good!

Why Adopt?

(Yes, today is November 4th! Yes, I voted... that's all I have to say about that!)

So this has got to be THE MOST ASKED QUESTION of adoptive parents. Why did you adopt, why didn't you have children of your own (or in our case MORE children of your own)? I am not sure why people are so nosy, but they are. Nosy may not be the best word, interested, intrigued, curious may be better words. When you are a family of blond hair, blue eyed children, and you adopt a child of a different ethnic background, you are opening the door for people to ask questions. I have always been okay with that! I love all my children, and the stories of how they came to be my children are each unique and special and very important! I have no problem sharing.

So here is the answer.... I guess. I'm sure if you asked Nate, he may give you a different answer, but my interest in adoption began at a young age. My babysitter growing up, Mrs. Coe, was a foster mother. She opened her home to many children, I'm sure, but one in particular always stood out in my mind. I do not remember the boys name, but I know that he was hurting, and he found love in that home. I was intrigued, and a seed was planted. Before I knew Him, God was working in my heart.

At a fairly young age, 16 or 17, I had a few doctors tell me that I would have a hard time having children. While I always wanted to be a mother, this did not bother me. It was pretty simple at the time... I'll just adopt!

When I fell in love (again at a young age!) and knew that Nate and I were going to be together forever, we discussed this kind of stuff. He was always very encouraging and supportive of adopting children!

After we were married, thinking I would have a hard time getting pregnant we decided to just let things happen... well... they happened alright! God is much wiser than any doctors, and 10 1/2 months after the wedding, we welcomed a gorgeous baby girl into our lives, Taylor Brooke! Still we thought we would adopt one day.

Three and a half years, and several doses of Clomid later, Drew joined our family! What a blessing! Still we would adopt "some day"!

Then after 2 miscarriages and the loss of our son Kaleb through stillbirth, and while pregnant again, we decided now is the time to adopt. We felt that once our third child was born, we would begin looking into adoption. Well, our baby girl, Alicia went to be with Jesus as well, and after a time of grieving, we began the adoption process.

Looking back, God had an amazing plan for us. And we know that all of our children were a gift from God! No matter how short their lives. And we know that God had an amazing plan for our Toby's life as well! We are so grateful to be a part of that plan! Will we adopt again... God knows! I would love to, and would do it many more times, but sadly it is not financially possible in the near future. Will it be a child from Korea? A child from Haiti? A child from the US? Who knows, but one day, I have to believe that God has a plan, and if it is His will, we will be parents again, and give hope to a child, and add love to our family!

God is Good

Adoption Stats

I wanted to throw out some statistics on adoption and here are some interesting things I found...

Domestically...

According to the Administration for Children and Families, At the end of Fiscal Year 2006 (September) there were 508, 446 children in Foster Care in the United States. Over 16,000 were in Ohio!

The following information was found on Adoption.com

·4 in 10 American adults (81.5 million) have considered adoption for their own families
· 63 percent of all American adults have a very favorable opinion about adoption (seven percentage point increase since measured in 1997)
· 64 percent have experienced adoption within their own families or among close friends (a six percentage point increase since 1997)
· 78 percent believe the country should be doing more to encourage adoption
· 95 percent think adoptive parents should receive the same maternity and paternity benefits from employers as biological parents
· Hispanic populations are more likely (54 percent) to consider adoption than African-American (45 percent) and White populations (36 percent) – though African-Americans are most likely to consider adopting a child who has been in foster care for a few years

International Adoption...

Here is a list of the top 20 countries involved in International Adoption to the United States.

Top 20 Orphan Issuing Countries FY-2007
COUNTRY IR3 IR4 TOTAL
China-mainland 5,453
Guatemala 4,728
Russia 2,310
Ethiopia 1,255
South Korea 939
Vietnam 828
Ukraine 606
Kazakhstan 540
India 416
Liberia 314
Colombia 310
Philippines 265
Haiti 190
Taiwan 184
Mexico 89
Poland 84
Thailand 67
Kyrgyzstan 61
Brazil 55
Uganda 54

Where do you fit in?

God is Good

Adoption PSA's

As I mentioned before, it is Celebrate Adoption Month. I am hoping to post each day this month something about adoption. I thought I would start with a few videos. The first two are just Public Service Announcements I found on YouTube... The first is from Kentucky, but has a great message...





This is a great video from an International Adoption Agency, Bethany Christian talking about the joys of adoption, including international adoption...



And I thought I would throw in our adoption video for those of you that may not have seen it before. As I sat and watched this again tonight, so many things went through my head. I am sitting here typing, and I can hear Toby singing in his bed. Actually, crying out for me at the moment... be right back...Okay, he's good! As I watched the video, it took me right back to that day 15 months ago. I could smell his hair, feel the weight of his limp body on my shoulder, remember laughing with him on the train ride between terminals, as well has him planting his first kiss on me as we rode along on the train! The joy of that day is absolutely comparable to the joy of the birth of Taylor and Drew.. WITHOUT the pain and drugs!!! I hope you enjoy the video, and I'd love to hear feedback from any of you this month, as well as any questions you may have regarding the adoption process!



God is Good!

Happy Halloween!

Another Fun Filled night of Trick or Treating and hanging with the family! Nate's sisters, Melanie and Meredith both came with their families, and Nate's parents and my parents. It was a lot of fun and the kids got a TON of candy. It didn't seem like there were as many kids out this year, not sure why, but we had a ton of candy left! UGH! So here are a few photos, and a few from our Fall Fun Fest at church! Enjoy

Taylor and Lincoln were already out trick or treating, so we didn't get an entire group shot!

The boys were playing football before they left. Yes, that is Anakin with a Buckeye's helmet on! And Angus of AC/DC in the background!

And pretty much every year, this is how we find the kids after we trick or treat. The older kids have gotten wiser, and now go downstairs to dump their candy, and then I'm picking up wrappers for a week! But the little guys just couldn't wait!

Taylor and Drew at the Fall Fun Fest. It was a sports theme this year, so we had a Buckeye and two Cavs players!

Here is Toby, Dawson and Kiley coloring at the Fall Fun Fest!

And this is Toby, before we left. He wanted his hair done? What do you think? I love it!

And here is a video of Drew Jousting at the Fall Fun Fest. He didn't do too well, but he had fun!

Also, it's National Adoption Month! I'm hoping to do some digging and post a lot of info this month about adoption! We'll see what I come up with! I probably should have started planning for this a month ago!

God is Good!