May 11
Six years ago on this day
my baby I would see
As he was placed in my arms I knew
With Jesus he would be.
His precious hands his tiny feet
His eyelids closed so tight
Knowing that there would be no day
that he would see the light.
His perfect lips his precious nose
A tiny body wrapped up tight
I hold him close, I kiss his brow
This would be our last night
As mommy and daddy hold you near
Making memories
Until the time, Jesus calls us home
And together we will be.
How do you explain a love
that seems so quick and brief?
It is God's gift I'll cherish near
while many watch in disbelief.
How can you love when he didn't live
A baby you never got to know?
"He is my child from God" I say
and for that His Grace I will show.
Jesus placed him in my womb for a while
the reason I may never understand
But I praise Him for the gift he gave
As He held my Kaleb in His Hands.
Time may pass and days go by
where tears are less and less
But the love I have for my baby boy
is something that doesn't digress
He'd be reading now, writing too
And math, would he be like mom or dad?
Riding a bike, swimming fast
A fun time by all would be had.
But in heaven you play on streets of Gold
with Homer and Bonnie and Mac
And Grandma Nelda I'm sure is sharing with you
all her stories of life way back.
A time will come when Jesus calls us home
A place many of us long for,
That home is where my heart has been
Since that day in 2004.
Forever and for always
my baby you will be
Kaleb, Mommy loves you
For all eternity!
The story of the Mills' Family. Nate and Carol have been married since 1997. Taylor was born in 1998, Drew was born in 2001 and Toby was born in 2005 and joined our family forever in 2007. Here is our journey, where God leads us, we will go. That is my prayer.
Showing posts with label Infant Loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Infant Loss. Show all posts
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
How Quickly We Forget
So yesterday, I got a call from a co-worker that she was going to be missing work. It seems that her 5 week old Grandson was in pretty serious condition having breathing problems. While she is a nurse, and knows they are doing all they can for him, I could hear the desperation in her voice. I could hear her concern and fear over what could happen and my heart went out for her. I began to pray for this little baby, and the fight ahead of him, and for his family as they patiently wait for his tiny little body to do what it needs to do.
As I was praying, however, I was reminded of how quickly we forget how precious life is. I know Nate and I have been through so many various experiences that you'd think we could never forget this, but we do. We forget that Doctors told me at a young age that it would be difficult to have children. We forget that when I was 17 weeks pregnant with Taylor, I had surgery that included "lifting her from my belly" as they removed a softball sized tumor. We forget that it took over a year and lots of medications for Drew to be in our lives, and somedays we even forget that there is a young woman in Korea that is missing a part of her heart, because we call him our son! These "MIRACLES" are right in front of us, yet we take them for granted.
We, or at least I, continue to mourn the loss of our four babies that are no longer with us, as if we are entitled to have had those children in our lives. We so quickly forget that all children are a Gift From God!! We all, who receive Christ, are God's children (John1:12), and our time on earth is temporary. Yet the life we do have is a gift, and a miracle! I've seen first hand how delicate that life is, how quickly it can be taken away and much of a miracle it is to have!
I pray that if you have young ones in your life, you look at them as the miracle that they are, even when it's past their bedtime and they're getting on your last nerve! Or when they've taken scissors and cut every piece of paper in the room into tiny little pieces of confetti, or when no matter what you do, homework that should take 25 minutes takes 2 hours! We must remind ourselves... "THESE ARE GOD'S BLESSINGS"!
As I was praying, however, I was reminded of how quickly we forget how precious life is. I know Nate and I have been through so many various experiences that you'd think we could never forget this, but we do. We forget that Doctors told me at a young age that it would be difficult to have children. We forget that when I was 17 weeks pregnant with Taylor, I had surgery that included "lifting her from my belly" as they removed a softball sized tumor. We forget that it took over a year and lots of medications for Drew to be in our lives, and somedays we even forget that there is a young woman in Korea that is missing a part of her heart, because we call him our son! These "MIRACLES" are right in front of us, yet we take them for granted.
We, or at least I, continue to mourn the loss of our four babies that are no longer with us, as if we are entitled to have had those children in our lives. We so quickly forget that all children are a Gift From God!! We all, who receive Christ, are God's children (John1:12), and our time on earth is temporary. Yet the life we do have is a gift, and a miracle! I've seen first hand how delicate that life is, how quickly it can be taken away and much of a miracle it is to have!
I pray that if you have young ones in your life, you look at them as the miracle that they are, even when it's past their bedtime and they're getting on your last nerve! Or when they've taken scissors and cut every piece of paper in the room into tiny little pieces of confetti, or when no matter what you do, homework that should take 25 minutes takes 2 hours! We must remind ourselves... "THESE ARE GOD'S BLESSINGS"!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Why Adopt?
(Yes, today is November 4th! Yes, I voted... that's all I have to say about that!)
So this has got to be THE MOST ASKED QUESTION of adoptive parents. Why did you adopt, why didn't you have children of your own (or in our case MORE children of your own)? I am not sure why people are so nosy, but they are. Nosy may not be the best word, interested, intrigued, curious may be better words. When you are a family of blond hair, blue eyed children, and you adopt a child of a different ethnic background, you are opening the door for people to ask questions. I have always been okay with that! I love all my children, and the stories of how they came to be my children are each unique and special and very important! I have no problem sharing.
So here is the answer.... I guess. I'm sure if you asked Nate, he may give you a different answer, but my interest in adoption began at a young age. My babysitter growing up, Mrs. Coe, was a foster mother. She opened her home to many children, I'm sure, but one in particular always stood out in my mind. I do not remember the boys name, but I know that he was hurting, and he found love in that home. I was intrigued, and a seed was planted. Before I knew Him, God was working in my heart.
At a fairly young age, 16 or 17, I had a few doctors tell me that I would have a hard time having children. While I always wanted to be a mother, this did not bother me. It was pretty simple at the time... I'll just adopt!
When I fell in love (again at a young age!) and knew that Nate and I were going to be together forever, we discussed this kind of stuff. He was always very encouraging and supportive of adopting children!
After we were married, thinking I would have a hard time getting pregnant we decided to just let things happen... well... they happened alright! God is much wiser than any doctors, and 10 1/2 months after the wedding, we welcomed a gorgeous baby girl into our lives, Taylor Brooke! Still we thought we would adopt one day.
Three and a half years, and several doses of Clomid later, Drew joined our family! What a blessing! Still we would adopt "some day"!
Then after 2 miscarriages and the loss of our son Kaleb through stillbirth, and while pregnant again, we decided now is the time to adopt. We felt that once our third child was born, we would begin looking into adoption. Well, our baby girl, Alicia went to be with Jesus as well, and after a time of grieving, we began the adoption process.
Looking back, God had an amazing plan for us. And we know that all of our children were a gift from God! No matter how short their lives. And we know that God had an amazing plan for our Toby's life as well! We are so grateful to be a part of that plan! Will we adopt again... God knows! I would love to, and would do it many more times, but sadly it is not financially possible in the near future. Will it be a child from Korea? A child from Haiti? A child from the US? Who knows, but one day, I have to believe that God has a plan, and if it is His will, we will be parents again, and give hope to a child, and add love to our family!
God is Good
So this has got to be THE MOST ASKED QUESTION of adoptive parents. Why did you adopt, why didn't you have children of your own (or in our case MORE children of your own)? I am not sure why people are so nosy, but they are. Nosy may not be the best word, interested, intrigued, curious may be better words. When you are a family of blond hair, blue eyed children, and you adopt a child of a different ethnic background, you are opening the door for people to ask questions. I have always been okay with that! I love all my children, and the stories of how they came to be my children are each unique and special and very important! I have no problem sharing.
So here is the answer.... I guess. I'm sure if you asked Nate, he may give you a different answer, but my interest in adoption began at a young age. My babysitter growing up, Mrs. Coe, was a foster mother. She opened her home to many children, I'm sure, but one in particular always stood out in my mind. I do not remember the boys name, but I know that he was hurting, and he found love in that home. I was intrigued, and a seed was planted. Before I knew Him, God was working in my heart.
At a fairly young age, 16 or 17, I had a few doctors tell me that I would have a hard time having children. While I always wanted to be a mother, this did not bother me. It was pretty simple at the time... I'll just adopt!
When I fell in love (again at a young age!) and knew that Nate and I were going to be together forever, we discussed this kind of stuff. He was always very encouraging and supportive of adopting children!
After we were married, thinking I would have a hard time getting pregnant we decided to just let things happen... well... they happened alright! God is much wiser than any doctors, and 10 1/2 months after the wedding, we welcomed a gorgeous baby girl into our lives, Taylor Brooke! Still we thought we would adopt one day.
Three and a half years, and several doses of Clomid later, Drew joined our family! What a blessing! Still we would adopt "some day"!
Then after 2 miscarriages and the loss of our son Kaleb through stillbirth, and while pregnant again, we decided now is the time to adopt. We felt that once our third child was born, we would begin looking into adoption. Well, our baby girl, Alicia went to be with Jesus as well, and after a time of grieving, we began the adoption process.
Looking back, God had an amazing plan for us. And we know that all of our children were a gift from God! No matter how short their lives. And we know that God had an amazing plan for our Toby's life as well! We are so grateful to be a part of that plan! Will we adopt again... God knows! I would love to, and would do it many more times, but sadly it is not financially possible in the near future. Will it be a child from Korea? A child from Haiti? A child from the US? Who knows, but one day, I have to believe that God has a plan, and if it is His will, we will be parents again, and give hope to a child, and add love to our family!
God is Good
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