Happy 5th Birthday Kaleb

Well, Happy Mother's Day to all of you Mom's out there. While I am so blessed to have three beautiful children that I love dearly celebrate with me on Mother's Day, it will never be a joyous Holiday. It was five years ago that I was carrying my precious Kaleb in my womb, knowing that any day, he would be born, and would be the worst day of my life. Yes, I prayed that the doctors were wrong, I wished that he would be born, and have a fighting chance. Babies survive at 24 weeks all the time, right? Well, that wasn't the case for my Kaleb.

So while I celebrate my mom on Mother's Day, and I celebrate my Mother-In-Law on Mother's Day, and I celebrate all my Grandmothers on Mother's Day, I also suffer through this day. Remembering the last moments I had with my baby here on earth. Tomorrow will be 5 years since the day that Kaleb was in my arms. I think that being the milestone birthday that it is is making it much harder this year.

So I will get through the day tomorrow. We will go to the cemetery and release balloons into the sky. Balloons that I know you will see as you celebrate your birthday with Jesus beside you. What more could a mother ask for? To have Jesus at your son's every birthday celebration. I know we all think of eternity, but having lost a child (or four) you tend to look at eternity in a whole new light. Not with fear, but with hope and excitement beyond that of meeting your creator. One of feeling whole again, after years of having part of your heart missing.

Until then, I think of you every day Kaleb. I wonder often "what if" and "what now". But I know one day you will be in my arms again, and my heart will be whole.



God IS Good!